Quote by Meredith Palmer (Season 2 Episode 15)

In five years, I'd like to be five years sober... four and a half.

Meredith Palmer in The Office - Season 2 Episode 15

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Pam: "Jim and I have never and will never have sex in the office."
Jim: "No, because the office isn't what I'd consider a romantic place."
Pam: "Besides, we have something those other people don't have, which is a home and a bed."
Jim: "And a shower."

Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 7 Episode 16

Shower

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Laden, and Toby - I would shoot Toby twice.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 25

Toby Flenderson

You need somebody who understands your references. Who is Kafkaesque? I've never...- I don't know him.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 9

Michael: "You will be thin. You won't drool over pizza like an animal anymore. You will find love."
Kevin: "Michael, I'm pretty much okay with who I am now."
Michael: "Don't be. You should never settle for who you are."

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 7 Episode 22

Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet. And this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 7 Episode 16

Romeo and Juliet

What's the problem? Grunting is scientifically proven to add more power. Ask any female tennis player, or her husband.

Dwight Schrute in The Office - Season 8 Episode 3

What's the argument here? NBA. WNBA. One is a sport, one is a joke. I love sports, I love jokes. Room for all.

Dwight Schrute in The Office - Season 7 Episode 23

Women's Sports

I'm not going to tell my nine-months-pregnant wife that I find her replacement objectively attractive. Just like I'm not going to tell my two-year-old daughter that violent video games are objectively more fun. It's true, but it doesn't help anybody.

Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 8 Episode 7

I am on the first hot sale streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding CeCe, because no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. Let's be honest - if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob... I can pretty much sell anything.

Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 7 Episode 9

Jim: "What about and energy drink?"
Pam: "It gets in the breast milk. If I drink it, CeCe drinks it six hours later."
Jim: "It doesn't mean I can't drink it."
Pam: "Well, it does and it doesn't."

Pam Beesly in The Office - Season 6 Episode 25

It's not about who you've been with. It's about who you end up with. Sometimes the heart doesn't know what it wants until it finds what it wants.

Pam Beesly in The Office - Season 6 Episode 22

Michael: "Phyllis did injure herself, but she injured herself having fun and I don't think she'd trade that memory for anything."
Stanley: "I would like the memory of a day uninterrupted by this nonsense."

Stanley Hudson in The Office - Season 5 Episode 27

I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They're always complaining. I have varicose veins too. I have swollen ankles. I'm constantly hungry. You think my nipples don't get sore too?

Stanley Hudson in The Office - Season 5 Episode 4

Michael: "Excuse me, everyone... Sex! Now that I have your attention...-"
Stanley: "You don't have our attention."
Michael: "Money!"
Stanley: "I'm listening."
Kevin: "You had me at 'Sex'."

Kevin Malone in The Office - Season 7 Episode 9

Creed: "I've never seen herpes on you."
Meredith: "'Cause it's on my genitals, genius."
Kevin: "You have a p-nis?"

Kevin Malone in The Office - Season 7 Episode 4

I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?

Ryan Howard in The Office

Kelly Kapoor

Anybody can be Prince Charming one day a year with the dinner and the flowers and all that. But you know that impresses me? When a guy can do that no days a year.

Ryan Howard in The Office - Season 7 Episode 16

Michael's like a movie on a plane. You know, it's not great, but it's something to watch.

Toby Flenderson in The Office - Season 5 Episode 21

Airplanes

This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest, scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from a female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case when it inevitably goes to trial.

Toby Flenderson in The Office - Season 3 Episode 18

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy Bernard in The Office

Jim Halpert's off the market. Guess who just became the best looking single guy in the office.

Andy Bernard in The Office - Season 4 Episode 2

Jim Halpert

What did I say? I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out.

Kelly Kapoor in The Office - Season 7 Episode 2

I love the American Southwest, for starters. You may call them Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah. I call them heaven.

Deangelo Vickers in The Office - Season 7 Episode 20

Nevada Arizona New Mexico Utah

There are plenty of people who love touching me. I'm a terrific hugger. I've been with a bunch of girls where that's basically all they wanna do.

Gabe Lewis in The Office - Season 7 Episode 26

Hugs

Florida is America's bas*ment: it's wet, it's filled with mold, strange insects, alligators.

Robert California in The Office - Season 8 Episode 11

Florida

Quote by Meredith Palmer (Season 2 Episode 15)

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