The best Medieval Quotes

The Dark Ages were a tragedy for human progress that put back the ollout of 5G by hundreds of years.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2

Well, there are plenty worse places to be than the Old West. I could've ended up in the Dark Ages. They probably would have burned me at the stake as a heretic or something.

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

Perhaps in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742-1799)

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Doc Brown: "Tell me, Future Boy, who's President of the United States in 1985?"
Marty: "Ronald Reagan."
Doc Brown: "Ronald Reagan? The actor? Ha! Then who's Vice President, Jerry Lewis?"

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

Jerry Lewis Ronald Reagan 80s

Marty, the future isn't written. It can be changed... you know that. Anyone can make their future whatever they want it to be.

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

Future

Time traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: Women!

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

Women

You future hasn't been written yet. No one's has. Your future is whatever you make it. So make it a good one, both of you!

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

There's that word again, "heavy". Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the Earth's gravitational pull?

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

Marty McFly: "Sounds pretty heavy."
Dr. Emmett Brown: "Weight has nothing to do with it."

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

Whoop! Almost forgot my luggage. Who knows if they've got cotton underwear in the future. I'm allergic to all synthetics.

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

If you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

I'm sure in 1985 plutonium is in every corner drug store, but in 1955, its a little hard to come by!

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

No wonder your president has to be an actor. He's gotta look good on television.

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

Marty, you can't go losing your judgment every time someone calls you a name. That's exactly what causes you to get into that accident in the future.

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

One downside of our big brains is we're the only creatures who are aware that death is inevitable. Although, if you lined ten dogs in a row and shot them one by one, the dog on the end would probably get the gist by about dog four.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Life - Episode 1

Brain

Cells couldn't multiply without this, the IKEA instruction manual for life, DNA. DNA is tiny yet comlex, like Tom Cruise.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Life - Episode 1

Tom Cruise

Apparently, Islam can be a sensitive topic, and the producers say if I don't follow this script to the letter, there's a chance I'll cause a serious international incident.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2

Islam

The European kings agreed and launched a sort of armed charity drive to forcibly provide the Islamic world with crucifixes. They called it "cruce-aid".

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2

If you were Christian back then, perhaps the worst place to find yourself was the Colosseum, an area of misery on a par with Birmingham.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2

Birmingham

Whether or not they think he was the actual son of God who performed miracles like walking on wine or helping a deaf man see, they all agree he preached tolerance and forgiveness, a message so important his most ardent followers would eventually start killing anyone who didn't want to hear it.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2

Christianity Jesus

Thanks to the volcano we know every-day Romans had grey skin, were totally bald, and spent their time lying around inside their shockingly dusty houses.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 1

If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.

Marty McFly in Back to the Future

Come on, Doc, it's not science. When it happens, it just hits you. It's like lightning!

Marty McFly in Back to the Future

Biff Tannen: "That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship."
Marty McFly: "Screen door on a submarine, you dork."

Marty McFly in Back to the Future

Marty McFly: "Calvin? Why do you keep calling me Calvin?"
Lorraine Baines: "Well, that is your name, isn't it? Calvin Klein? It's written all over your underwear."

Lorraine Baines in Back to the Future

Calvin Klein

Chuck! It's Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Berry! You know that new sound you lookin' for? Well, listen to this!

Back to the Future

Oh, and one more thing. If you guys ever have kids and one of them, when he's eight years old, accidentally sets fire to the living room rug - go easy on him.

Marty McFly in Back to the Future

I think a man should be strong so he can stand up for himself and protect the woman he loves.

Lorraine Baines in Back to the Future

Man is a masterpiece of creation if for no other reason than that, all the weight of evidence for determinism notwithstanding, he believes he has free will.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Sickness is mankind's greatest defect.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Illness & Sickness

Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinion at all.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Opinions

Man loves company - even if it is only that of a small burning candle.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Candles

My mother would freak out if she knew I was goin' up there with you. I'd get the standard lecture about how she never did that stuff when she was a kid. I mean, look, I think the woman was born a nun.

Marty McFly in Back to the Future

Wait a minute, Doc. Are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me?

Marty McFly in Back to the Future

Marty: "Gimme a Tab."
Lou Caruthers: "Tab? I can't give you a tab unless you order somethin'."
Marty: "Right. Give me a Pepsi Free."
Lou Caruthers: "If you want a Pepsi, pal, you're gonna pay for it."
Marty: "Just give me something without any sugar in it, okay?"

Marty McFly in Back to the Future

Arms Dealer: "Where'd you learn to shoot like that?"
Marty: "7-Eleven."

Marty McFly in Back to the Future

Why don't you make like a tree and get outta here?

Biff Tannen in Back to the Future

It's "leave", you idiot! "Make like a tree and leave!" You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong!

Biff Tannen in Back to the Future

Biff: "Jump! A suicide will be nice and neat."
Marty: "What if I don't?"
Biff: "Lead poisoning."

Biff Tannen in Back to the Future

You realize what would happen if I hand in my homework in your handwriting? I'll get kicked outta school. You wouldn't want that to happen, would ya?

Biff Tannen in Back to the Future

Marty, I'm almost 18-years-old. It's not like I've never parked before.

Lorraine Baines in Back to the Future

Marty, don't be such a square! Everybody who's anybody drinks.

Lorraine Baines in Back to the Future

I'm your density. I mean - your destiny.

George McFly in Back to the Future

Marty: "Say whatever's natural, the first thing that comes into your mind."
George: "Nothing's coming to my mind."
Marty: "Jesus, George, it's a wonder I was ever born."
George: "What?"
Marty: "Nothing."

George McFly in Back to the Future

Last night, Darth Vader came down from Planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out, that he'd melt my brain.

George McFly in Back to the Future

Darth Vader

The best Medieval Quotes

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