Quote by Mayor McDaniels (Season 2 Episode 2)

Officer Barbrady, let's pretend for one second that we had a competent law enforcement officer in this town. What would he do?

Mayor McDaniels in South Park - Season 2 Episode 2

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I love life. Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like... it makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.

Butters Stotch in South Park - Season 7 Episode 14

Life Breakup Grief & Condolence

Do you know what happened to the last people Germans were pissed off at? Tell him, Kyle!

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 15 Episode 2

A bl*wjob isn't with your mouth, it's with your heart. Now get on your knees and put that heart to work.

Randy Marsh in South Park - Season 15 Episode 11

Mouth

Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny... and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real?

Kyle Broflovski in South Park - Season 11 Episode 12

Luke Skywalker Superman Bugs Bunny Imagination Santa Claus

All I think about is all the problems our generation is inheriting. Climate change, over fishing, Kyle... I mean, how are we supposed to get happy about anything?

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 23 Episode 1

Do you know what love is, Scott? I'll tell you one thing, it's not the happy ending that Disney movies promised us. There's no 'happily ever after'. There's just work and anger and pain and more work, and then, every once in a while, a little bit of fun.

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 23 Episode 9

Gerald Broflovski: "Well that does it, I'm going to the police!"
Stan: "For what?"
Gerald Broflovski: "To find out where Apple is keeping my son."
Stan: "Dude, when the police want to know where somebody is, they ask Apple!"

Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 15 Episode 1

Apple

Cartman: "I'm not the one walking around all day like Pippi Longstocking."
Stan: "Well, at least my mom isn't on the cover of Crack Wh*re magazine."

Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 1 Episode 7

Pippi Longstocking

Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!

Kyle Broflovski in South Park - Season 1 Episode 1

Stan: "I know what did cause the flood."
Kyle: "George Bush?"
Stan: "No!"
Kyle: "Terrorists?"
Stan: "No!"
Kyle: "Communists?"
Stan: "Nein!"
Kyle: "Chinese radicals"
Stan: "Nein!"
Kyle: "Cartman?"
Stan: "Sort of..."

Kyle Broflovski in South Park - Season 9 Episode 8

Chefkoch: "Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him."
Stan: "Marry him?"
Chefkoch: "It definitely worked for every woman i ever met."

Chef in South Park - Season 6 Episode 2

Fat People

Chefkoch: "Why 'oh oh'?"
Gerald Brovlovski: "Chef, that's Johnny Cochran. He's the one that got O.J. off."
Chefkoch: "Oh oh..."

Chef in South Park - Season 2 Episode 14

I'm not gonna be confused anymore just because you say I should be! My name is Butters, I'm eight years old, I'm blood type O, and I'm bi-curious! And even that's okay! Because if I'm bi-curious, and I'm somehow made from God, then I think your God must be a little bi-curious himself!

Butters Stotch in South Park - Season 11 Episode 2

Mr. Stotch: "Butters, away from the window, you're being grounded."
Butters: "Sorry dad. I was just being the voice of a generation."

Butters Stotch in South Park - Season 14 Episode 2

I'm not high! I haven't been high since Wednesday. Oh, oh it is Wednesday?

Towelie in South Park

Towelie: "I can't remember. It all looks the same. Hang on, let me get high. Then I'll remember where it is."
Stan: "Alright, so where is it?"
Towelie: "Where's what?"

Towelie in South Park

Mr Garrison: "What is 5x2? Come on, children. Don't be shy, just give it your best shot. Yes, Clyde?"
Clyde: "12?"
Mr Garrison: "Okay, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard."

Mr. Garrison in South Park

Mr. Garrison: "Then maybe you can tell me who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early sixties."
Eric Cartman: "A bunch of fat old sk-nks on their periods?"
Mr. Garrison: "Right, but who was the fattest oldest sk-nk on her period?"

Mr. Garrison in South Park - Season 7 Episode 5

I've learned something today. You can't win all the time. If you don't win, you can't hold it against the person who did. Because that's the only way you ever really lose.

Wendy Testaburger in South Park - Season 1 Episode 2

Cartman: "After I'm on television, I'm gonna be totally famous."
Wendy: "Hitler was famous too."

Wendy Testaburger in South Park - Season 1 Episode 2

Adolf Hitler

Randy: "Can't you see that if we fall to New Jersey, California is next?"
Schwarzenegger: "No, because Utah is between Colorado and California."
Randy: "Fine. Well, when Utah gets taken over by New Jersey, then who's next?"
Schwarzenegger: "Nevada."
Randy: "Oh really? Okay Mr. 'I'm Awesome at Geography'!"

Randy Marsh in South Park - Season 14 Episode 9

Everything's legal in Mexico, it's the American way.

Uncle Jimbo in South Park - Season 2 Episode 8

Mexico

Officer Barbrady: "Well just as soon as I handle all the other crime in South Park, I'm gonna go with you to the planetarium, so I can prove that nothing's wrong."
Stan: "What other crime in South Park?"
Officer Barbrady: "Oh yeah... let's go."

Officer Barbrady in South Park - Season 2 Episode 11

Quote by Mayor McDaniels (Season 2 Episode 2)

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