The best Quotes by Max Fisher

What am I gonna call you, little fella? I guess you're part dog, part shark. I'm gonna call you Dog-Shark! How 'bout... Puppyfish? Semi-Amphibious Land-Ranging Canine? Sharkdog!

Mr. Heubel: "You will never guess what I bought!"
Max: "Is it another garden gnome?"
Mr. Heubel: "Well, how did you gnome? Get it?"

Max: "I'll even pick up poop!"
Mother: "I think we've got all the poop we can handle right now."

We've already got something small and messy that eats everything in the house. And she's called Mia.

Half shark, half dog
Big fins, big jaws
Loves the water, loves the park
Sharkdog!

His night vision is amazing
He doesn't sleep, doesn't blink, he sees you
He's super strong and it's crazy
He's the cutest lynch of your life

Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"

What can I say, once you go white, you always stay tight. Hey, I think I just insulted myself.

Frank: "What did they get you for again?"
"Beat my ex-wife to death with a telephone."
Frank': "Cordless or landline?"

Been sleeping in this car six years. Pissed, puked, jizzed in it. By law of bodily fluids, it's mine.

I have red hair, freckles and crooked teeth. I don't need any more character!

Debs, we need at least one person in this family to not turn cynical, and my money's been on you.

I don't go onto Facebook because I don't give a shit about whose pet just died or who just checked in at the f*cking McDonald's.