Quote by Maury the Hormone Monster (Big Mouth)

I mean, maybe if it's animated we can get away with it.

Maury the Hormone Monster in Big Mouth

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Jay: "How else are men supposed to get bj0bs?"
Maury: "You lean your head back, arch your crotch in the air and say, 'Dinner is served'."

Maury the Hormone Monster in Big Mouth - Season 1 Episode 8

You're gonna sit on his face and use that hair as a seat belt.

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Puberty Fairy?! I'm the hormone monster. I'm no fairy. I mean sure I like to f*ck around with dudes, but I'm no fairy.

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I know this all seems embarrassing right now but maybe one day you'll look back on this time fondly and perhaps even make something beautiful out of it.

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You somehow made farting even cooler!

Maury the Hormone Monster in Big Mouth - Season 3 Episode 11

Kids just don't nut like they used to.

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Wrong? We're in Florida. The state bird is a chicken finger.

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Florida

Smile, but with your p3nis.

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I just wish you could see your d1ck the way I do.

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We hate camp. It stinks like trees. And the boy only likes to poop at home.

Maury the Hormone Monster in Big Mouth - Season 4 Episode 1

This kid is a goddamn prodigy. I think he's his own hormone monster.

Maury the Hormone Monster in Big Mouth

Show her you like her. Kick her in the shins!

Maury the Hormone Monster in Big Mouth

Andrew: "Jay's been bragging that he's gonna get fingered at the dance."
Nick: "What? First of all, I think he's got that wrong. Either that or you have grossly misquoted him."

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Those girls are gonna eat him alive, and then barf him out because they're bulimic.

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I'm not gonna ask a girl. I don't need that kind of rejection.

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I gotta withhold my seed for the safety of mankind.

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If I was gonna f*ck a turkey, I would warm it up, like a goddamn gentleman!

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I am not a kid, for your information. I am 60 years old. I remember when Moses was president.

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Eleanor Roosevelt once said, quote, "Do one thing every day that scares you," closed quote. And I think this red bra scares both of us.

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Eleanor Roosevelt

My whole body is tense, like Joe Biden is whispering a dirty joke in my ear.

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Joe Biden

Gay Town sounds fun, but I've thought a lot about it, and I belong in Biami.

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I'm like Young Sheldon... if he fed.

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Young Sheldon

Nick: "I mean until Trump got elected, Harriet Tubman was going to be on the $20 bill."
Andrew: "Oh yeah, what happened with that?"
Nick: "I think it's gonna be Papa John now."

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Harriet Tubman

What is the point of research papers? Every thing's on Wikipedia, and it's all completely accurate.

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Wikipedia

Listen to me! You want to shoplift lipstick, you want to listen to Lana Del Rey on repeat while you cut up all your t-shirts. You want to scream at your mother and then laugh at her tears!

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Lana Del Rey

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

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New York Jets

Quote by Maury the Hormone Monster (Big Mouth)

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