Quote by Maury the Hormone Monster (Season 1 Episode 8)

Jay: "How else are men supposed to get bj0bs?"
Maury: "You lean your head back, arch your crotch in the air and say, 'Dinner is served'."

Maury the Hormone Monster in Big Mouth - Season 1 Episode 8

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You're gonna sit on his face and use that hair as a seat belt.

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Puberty Fairy?! I'm the hormone monster. I'm no fairy. I mean sure I like to f*ck around with dudes, but I'm no fairy.

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I know this all seems embarrassing right now but maybe one day you'll look back on this time fondly and perhaps even make something beautiful out of it.

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You somehow made farting even cooler!

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Kids just don't nut like they used to.

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Wrong? We're in Florida. The state bird is a chicken finger.

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Florida

Smile, but with your p3nis.

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I just wish you could see your d1ck the way I do.

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I mean, maybe if it's animated we can get away with it.

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We hate camp. It stinks like trees. And the boy only likes to poop at home.

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This kid is a goddamn prodigy. I think he's his own hormone monster.

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Show her you like her. Kick her in the shins!

Maury the Hormone Monster in Big Mouth

Andrew: "Jay's been bragging that he's gonna get fingered at the dance."
Nick: "What? First of all, I think he's got that wrong. Either that or you have grossly misquoted him."

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Those girls are gonna eat him alive, and then barf him out because they're bulimic.

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I'm not gonna ask a girl. I don't need that kind of rejection.

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I gotta withhold my seed for the safety of mankind.

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If I was gonna f*ck a turkey, I would warm it up, like a goddamn gentleman!

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I am not a kid, for your information. I am 60 years old. I remember when Moses was president.

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Eleanor Roosevelt once said, quote, "Do one thing every day that scares you," closed quote. And I think this red bra scares both of us.

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Eleanor Roosevelt

My whole body is tense, like Joe Biden is whispering a dirty joke in my ear.

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Joe Biden

Gay Town sounds fun, but I've thought a lot about it, and I belong in Biami.

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I'm like Young Sheldon... if he fed.

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Young Sheldon

Nick: "I mean until Trump got elected, Harriet Tubman was going to be on the $20 bill."
Andrew: "Oh yeah, what happened with that?"
Nick: "I think it's gonna be Papa John now."

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Harriet Tubman

What is the point of research papers? Every thing's on Wikipedia, and it's all completely accurate.

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Listen to me! You want to shoplift lipstick, you want to listen to Lana Del Rey on repeat while you cut up all your t-shirts. You want to scream at your mother and then laugh at her tears!

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Lana Del Rey

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

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New York Jets

Quote by Maury the Hormone Monster (Season 1 Episode 8)

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