The best Quotes by Matt Groening

The best Quotes by Matt Groening

Matthew Abram Groening (born February 15, 1954) is an American cartoonist, writer, producer, and animator. He is the creator of the comic strip Life in Hell (1977–2012) and the television series The Simpsons (1989–present), Futurama (1999–2003, 2008–2013, 2023–present), and Disenchantment (2018–2023).

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?
My standard comment is, "If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson."
You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it.
Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.

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You've succeeded in showing me life is worth living, by showing me how bad my funeral will suck.
Bender in Futurama - Season 3 Episode 17
3
Bite my shiny metal a-ss!
Bender in Futurama - Season 1 Episode 1
2
That's the saltiest thing I've ever eaten… and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt.
Philip J. Fry in Futurama - Season 1 Episode 7
2
Professor: "I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all."
Fry: "Oh, what's it called now?"
Professor: "Urectum."
Dwight: "I heard beer makes you stupid."
Fry: "No I'm… doesn't!"
This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me.
Why can't she just drink herself happy like a normal person?
They're like sex, except I'm having them.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 18
11
My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a p-rn star!
Abraham Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 19
4
If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 5
3
This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 24 Episode 5
3
I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 5 Episode 3
3
No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 10
3
All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
3
This room is like a museum of old, useless crap... by which I mean every museum.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 24 Episode 4
2
Whoa, this is big. I really need some time to drink about this.
Princess Bean in Disenchantment - Season 3 Episode 4
1
Man, after-work drinks taste so much better than instead-of-work drinks.
Princess Bean in Disenchantment - Season 3 Episode 4
Elfo: "What about me? Nobody cared either time I came back to life."
Luci: "I was disappointed both times. Disappointment's a form of caring."
Luci in Disenchantment - Season 3 Episode 3
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
Prince Derek in Disenchantment - Season 3 Episode 3
I always wanted to get lost in a labyrinth. It's like a puzzle you solve with your feet.
Elfo in Disenchantment - Season 3 Episode 2
Oh my gosh, it's exactly like my bedroom from when I was little! What are these frilly dresses doing in my liquor cabinet?
Princess Bean in Disenchantment - Season 3 Episode 1
By order of the king, me, Derek, I, we do declare Dreamland is now a theocracy. All power emanates from this holy throne and the ass therein ensconced.
Prince Derek in Disenchantment - Season 3 Episode 1
You know, if there's one thing I've learned, it's when you're stuck in a cave with your psycho mum, the best thing to do is play along.
Luci in Disenchantment - Season 3 Episode 1
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 14 Episode 2
2
Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.
2
Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 5 Episode 18
2
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille's heel, if you will.
1
Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny... and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real?
Kyle Broflovski in South Park - Season 11 Episode 12
5
Two worst things as can happen to a child is never to have his own way - or always to have it.
Frances Hodgson Burnett - The Secret Garden
The future is easy because it doesn't exist; but the past is painful because it lives forever.
You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.
24
Gimme your biggest, strongest, cheapest drink!
Valentine's Day is coming? Oh crap - I forgot to get a girlfriend again.
Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love.
I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar.
Homer: "Do you want the job done right or do you want it done fast?"
Marge: "Well, like all Americans… fast!"
We home school 'em. I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility.
Cletus Spuckler in The Simpsons - Season 18 Episode 14
I only got in trouble once, and... um.. Daddy Elfo um... slapped me on the bum bum.
Elfo in Disenchantment - Season 1 Episode 3
1
Luci: "I can't believe he called you a worthless, bucktoothed degenerate."
Bean: "He didn't say that."
Luci: "Doesn't make it any less true."
Luci in Disenchantment - Season 1 Episode 5
1
Bean: "Wow, that's the best soup I ever had!"
Dagmar: "It's Whiskey."
Princess Bean in Disenchantment - Season 2 Episode 1
The saddest thing in life is havin' to say goodbye to the person you want to spend that life with.
King Zøg in Disenchantment - Season 2 Episode 4
4
Just overwhelmed with gratitude. What an honor it is to run alongside President Donald J. Trump. He delivered peace and prosperity once, and with your help, he'll do it again.
J. D. Vance - Juli 2024

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