Quote by Marshall Eriksen (about Canada, Minnesota)

Quote by Marshall Eriksen (about Canada, Minnesota)

Ted: "It's freezing out there. Where's your coat?"
Robin: "Ted, I'm Canadian. I don't need a coat. This kind of weather is nothing for me."
Marshall: "Yeah. This is like a spring day back in Minnesota."

Marshall Eriksen in How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 11

Canada Minnesota

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Marshall: "It's kind of a big, professional meeting. You might want to trade out that lollipop for a shirt."
Ted: "Yeah. I'll just give it to one of these kids."
Marshall: "Oh, buddy. You're half naked, you're not a parent to any of these children. Don't offer 'em candy!"

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When you do one good deed, it creates a ripple effect. One good deed leads to another and another.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.

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Marshall: "Excuse me, miss. When you get a chance, could you bring over a hundred shots of tequila please?"
Barney: "I'll have the same."

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Marshall: "The broken windows?"
Lily: "We had to make it look realistic."
Marshall: "But why did you break two of them?"
Robin: "It looked like fun when she did it, so I wanted to try."
Marshall: "I can't believe this whole time it was you guys; I've been blaming Really Tan Dancing Leotard guy."

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Robin: "Can you guys keep a secret?"
Lily: "Yeah."
Marshall: "Well, some of us can..."

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Ted: "The road to this day has had a few twists and turns, hasn't it?"
Marshall: "Yeah... just a few. In a weird way, it all makes sense though, doesn't it?"

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Marshall: "The last time I lived this far from him, was my semester abroad."
Lily: "You never did a semester abroad?"
Marshall: "That's what I called it, when we lived on opposite sides of the campus."

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Lily: "A big package just arrived."
Marshall: "Yeah, it did."
Lily: "No, no. It's a real package from your dad."
Marshall: "Well, that's a little weird, but yeah, it is."

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Wherein I suggested that you take your head and store it within yourself, in a fashion that, while space-saving, might limit its exposure to sunshine.

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Ted: "Do not pretend you're not the kind of guy, who keeps a list of all the girls he slept with."
Marshall: "I have one. It's called my marriage-license."

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Lily: "Whenever we board a flight, you lick the plane!"
Marshall: "Have we crashed even once?"

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The only person on earth, who loves Ted Mosby more than Marshall Eriksen, is drunk Marshall Eriksen!

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Stella hated Star Wars! She lied to you. Search your feelings, Ted. You know it to be true!

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Barney: "On your tombstone, it will be, 'Lily Aldrin. Caring wife. Loving friend. Slapbet-Commissioner.'"
Marshall: "And your tombstone will read, 'Got slapped by Marhsall so hard he died.'"

Marshall Eriksen in How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 9

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Barney Stinson Lily Aldrin

A drum roll?! That's it? So what, you just said good night, came home and... performed a drum solo?

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Marshall: "Except the flames of Lucifer keep singein our back bumper as we drive through this hellish, cheese-infected wasteland."
Lily: "Wisconsin?"
Marshall: "Wisconsin!"

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Robin: "I'm drinking 'til I forget the 1999 NFC Championship?"
Marshall: "The Vikings were two minutes away from going to the Super Bowl, when our kicker, who hadn't missed all year, shanked a field goal, and we lost in overtime. Damn!"

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Lily: "We don't wanna burden our little angel with all kinds of gender-specific expectations. Boys can do ballet, girls can play football."
Marshall: "Hell, the Green Bay Packers have been proving that for years."

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Marshall: "Robin, I need you to delete the last text that Lily got before she sees it."
Robin: "Bro, it's my wedding weekend. Just because you didn't know better than to take a naked selfie while you were in the coldest part of the country..."
Marshall: "...first, I'm an Eriksen. Cold has a plumping effect."

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Barney: "I was having such a good time greasing 12-year-olds."
Ted: "LaserTag."
Marshall: "Helpful. Continue."

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I'm from Minnesota, where there's plenty hot-dogs for everyone. Perhaps even too many...

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Lily: "Okay, stop! Every time he lands, that chair farts out ten-year-old Dorito dust."
Marshall: "Yeah, it's the chair..."

Marshall Eriksen in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 23

Italy doesn't need something that is wrinkled, red and leaky, and smells like booze and narcotics. They've already got former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.

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Silvio Berlusconi Italy

You're gonna get endless requests to play some game, that has something to do with gangsters and farming!

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It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

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Breakup Beginning

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

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If you're looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it's love!

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Barney: "Our wedding is gonna be legendary."
Robin: "No wait for it?"
Barney: "I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore."

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Love declerations

Canada also helped in two world wars and gave the world Neil Young, William Shatner, Leonard Cohen, Pamela Anderson, one quarter of Barney Stinson, instant mashed potatoes and best of all - you.

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William Shatner Leonard Cohen Pamela Anderson Neil Young Canada

Look, if Michael Jordan's healthy, you don't let Scottie Pippen run the offense. Oh, you're from Canada, right. If Wayne Gretzky's healthy, you don't let François... what I'm saying is: hockey is stupid and I'm point guy!

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Michael Jordan Wayne Gretzky Scottie Pippen Canada Hockey

While it's not very Minnesotan to brag, I've got to brag on our state a little here: We were just ranked #1 in the country for health care.

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I was born in 1940 in Minnesota and grew up in the country... dirt roads, swamps, lakes, woods.

Terry Gilliam

Underneath all of those lies is one true thing. One true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world, and that's the fact that I love you.

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Love declerations

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story.

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Kids, you can't cling to the past. Because no matter how tight you hold on... it's already gone.

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Nobody likes to be alone, especially after a breakup. But that's when we discover who we really are and what we really want.

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Well, maybe this isn't a breakup. Maybe this is two friends getting back together.

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Marshall: "When a woman puts on an engagement ring, it's like when Bilbo Baggins wears the One Ring in The Hobbit."
Robin: "Okay, can you say that again, but not in nerd?"
Marshall: "Sure. Uh, the ring is like the cloak that Harry Potter wears to sneak around Hogwarts."
Robin: "Yeah, I don't speak virgin either."

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Bilbo Baggins The Hobbit Nerds Quotes about Harry Potter Quotes about Lord of the Rings

Your heart's talking to you, Barney. Do you have the guts to listen to it?

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Lily: "Just give me his name!"
Robin: "Fine. It's Bill Pepper."
Lily: "Kind of a coincidence there happens to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin?"

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Quinn: "In the event of divorce, Miss Garvey shall get full custody of Mr. Stinson's suits."
Barney: "Why? What would you do with them?"
Quinn: "Nothing. I'd just sit around and watch them go out of style."

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If we miss Hawaii because of this, guess who's not doing "The Disappearing Salami" anytime soon?

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Ted: "Robin and I already had our backslide. Last Thanksgiving, not even that long ago."
Stella: "Did you place a large bet against yourself?"

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Ted: "We can do it against the door. It will be hot. It will be like a three-way: you, me and the door."
Stella: "Yeah, but then it's going to be weird between me and the door tomorrow."

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Barney: "You avoiding the family too?"
James: "I'm gay, I'm black and I'm getting a divorce. Those walking skeletons are gonna have more questions for me than their pharmacists."

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Homosexuality & LGBTQ+Divorce

The Pork Authority is closed. Looks like it's Hand Central Station for you little buddy.

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The baby slide right out, huh? It's like a 'whoosh', like a waterslide. [Lily screaming] Slightly painful waterslide.

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If you don't push, I will shove that baby up your throat and pull it out of your mouth!

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