The best Quotes by Marshall Eriksen

Marshall: "It's kind of a big, professional meeting. You might want to trade out that lollipop for a shirt."
Ted: "Yeah. I'll just give it to one of these kids."
Marshall: "Oh, buddy. You're half naked, you're not a parent to any of these children. Don't offer 'em candy!"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 9

Being naked

When you do one good deed, it creates a ripple effect. One good deed leads to another and another.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 8

Being nice

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 7

Fish

Marshall: "Excuse me, miss. When you get a chance, could you bring over a hundred shots of tequila please?"
Barney: "I'll have the same."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 22

Marshall: "The broken windows?"
Lily: "We had to make it look realistic."
Marshall: "But why did you break two of them?"
Robin: "It looked like fun when she did it, so I wanted to try."
Marshall: "I can't believe this whole time it was you guys; I've been blaming Really Tan Dancing Leotard guy."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 17

Robin: "Can you guys keep a secret?"
Lily: "Yeah."
Marshall: "Well, some of us can..."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 16

Ted: "The road to this day has had a few twists and turns, hasn't it?"
Marshall: "Yeah... just a few. In a weird way, it all makes sense though, doesn't it?"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 24

Fate & Destiny

Marshall: "The last time I lived this far from him, was my semester abroad."
Lily: "You never did a semester abroad?"
Marshall: "That's what I called it, when we lived on opposite sides of the campus."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 14

Lily: "A big package just arrived."
Marshall: "Yeah, it did."
Lily: "No, no. It's a real package from your dad."
Marshall: "Well, that's a little weird, but yeah, it is."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 1

How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 11

Ted: "Do not pretend you're not the kind of guy, who keeps a list of all the girls he slept with."
Marshall: "I have one. It's called my marriage-license."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 3 Episode 14

Weddings

Lily: "Whenever we board a flight, you lick the plane!"
Marshall: "Have we crashed even once?"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 1

Superstition

The only person on earth, who loves Ted Mosby more than Marshall Eriksen, is drunk Marshall Eriksen!

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 1

Ted Mosby

Stella hated Star Wars! She lied to you. Search your feelings, Ted. You know it to be true!

How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 6

Quotes about Star Wars

Barney: "On your tombstone, it will be, 'Lily Aldrin. Caring wife. Loving friend. Slapbet-Commissioner.'"
Marshall: "And your tombstone will read, 'Got slapped by Marhsall so hard he died.'"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 9

Barney Stinson Lily Aldrin

A drum roll?! That's it? So what, you just said good night, came home and... performed a drum solo?

How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 13

Marshall: "Except the flames of Lucifer keep singein our back bumper as we drive through this hellish, cheese-infected wasteland."
Lily: "Wisconsin?"
Marshall: "Wisconsin!"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 3

Wisconsin

Robin: "I'm drinking 'til I forget the 1999 NFC Championship?"
Marshall: "The Vikings were two minutes away from going to the Super Bowl, when our kicker, who hadn't missed all year, shanked a field goal, and we lost in overtime. Damn!"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 11

Minnesota Vikings

Ted: "It's freezing out there. Where's your coat?"
Robin: "Ted, I'm Canadian. I don't need a coat. This kind of weather is nothing for me."
Marshall: "Yeah. This is like a spring day back in Minnesota."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 11

Canada Minnesota

Lily: "We don't wanna burden our little angel with all kinds of gender-specific expectations. Boys can do ballet, girls can play football."
Marshall: "Hell, the Green Bay Packers have been proving that for years."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 6

Green Bay Packers

Marshall: "Robin, I need you to delete the last text that Lily got before she sees it."
Robin: "Bro, it's my wedding weekend. Just because you didn't know better than to take a naked selfie while you were in the coldest part of the country..."
Marshall: "...first, I'm an Eriksen. Cold has a plumping effect."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 7

Barney: "I was having such a good time greasing 12-year-olds."
Ted: "LaserTag."
Marshall: "Helpful. Continue."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 4

I'm from Minnesota, where there's plenty hot-dogs for everyone. Perhaps even too many...

How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 2

Minnesota

Lily: "Okay, stop! Every time he lands, that chair farts out ten-year-old Dorito dust."
Marshall: "Yeah, it's the chair..."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 23

Italy doesn't need something that is wrinkled, red and leaky, and smells like booze and narcotics. They've already got former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 23

Silvio Berlusconi Italy

You're gonna get endless requests to play some game, that has something to do with gangsters and farming!

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 13

Facebook

The biggest case of my life and I'd already lost the jury. I mean, I've heard of "Twelve Angry Men", but this was more like "Twelve Horny Women".

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 8

It is so nice to be out in the fresh air. You smell that? That's the smell of urine that isn't Marvin's.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 4

Baby, can we grow sandwiches behind the garage?

How I Met Your Mother - Season 3 Episode 5

Looks like somebody suffered from premature slapulation.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 9

Marshall: "All pregnant ladies have crazy sex dreams. It's just her hormones going berserk."
Barney: "So who's responsible for her rapid thigh movement this time?"
Ted: "Oh, my favorite was when she banged George Washington."
Barney: "I liked the three-way with Bill Cosby and Papa Smurf."
Ted: "Oh, he smurfed the smurf out of her."
Marshall: "Yes, while The Cos smurfed off in the corner - we all remember."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 21

Bill Cosby The Smurfs

Ted: "Every three years we sit down and Tril' it up big time, agreed?"
Marshall: "Agreed-o!"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 20

Han Solo

Usually after a sandwich, I feel paranoid, but I'm not. WHY AM I NOT BEING PARANOID??

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 10

Lily, I think we made a mistake moving out to the suburbs. I miss our home. I miss our booth with our friends. And I'm pretty sure I have a drumstick... somewhere bad.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 14

Lily, you just gave those children a stapler, a pair of sharp scissors and a pretty decent Pinot Noir.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 8

Ted: "Robin, this show is so dirty, I don't know whether to hug you, or run a shower for you, so you can sit there alone, crying and clenching your knees."
Robin: "It's just bad camera work, okay? Wayne, our camera guy - he wasn't that great."
Marshall: "I don't know. I think he did a pretty good job, considering he was probably only using one hand."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 9

Barney: "Looks like that bee got busy."
Ted: "Looks like that French maid didn't turn down somebody's bed."
Marshall: "Oh, looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 7

Pocahontas

Nobody takes an intro class to get on any other path, but the path to not being hungover anymore. I learned that in my intro to something-ology class.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 5

College

I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other, that would make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but: thanks for your concern, rook!

How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 6

Sandra Bullock Relationships

Enjoy your mai-tai, because soon you will be wearing my tie!

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 3

Brother, you're driving the "I-wanna-have-sex-with-her-truck" and its got a huge blind spot.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 3 Episode 8

Lily: "That's Dirty Dancing!"
Ted: "It was on last night."
Marshall: "No, it was two nights ago. 'She's Like the Wind' has been stuck in my brain for about 40 hours. I just got it out; now it's back in. Damn you, Swayze!"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 12

Dirty Dancing

I thought you where vomit-free since nintythree... so that was a lie?

How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 15

Look at us, riding around in a limo, eating hot dogs... It's like we're the president.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 11

Quotes about Marshall Eriksen

Marshall Eriksen, put a baby in my belly.

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 24

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It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 3

Breakup Beginning

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 17

If you're looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it's love!

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 17

Love

Your heart's talking to you, Barney. Do you have the guts to listen to it?

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 18

Kids, you can't cling to the past. Because no matter how tight you hold on... it's already gone.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 23

Memories Past

The best Quotes by Marshall Eriksen

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