If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Humanity, Gratitude, Animals, DogsMark TwainLet us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles.
Life, Craziness & WeirdnessMark TwainI do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.
Mark Twain in Adventures of Huckleberry FinnThe two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
BirthMark TwainIf you tell the truth you do not need a good memory.
TruthMark Twain in Adventures of Huckleberry FinnGood friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark TwainGerman literacy ought to be gently and reverently set aside among the dead languages, for only the dead have time to learn it.
Germany, LanguagesMark Twain'Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read.
Mark Twain'You can go home now,' Tom told us.
'We'll meet next week. Then we can rob somebody and kill some people.'
That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.
Mark Twain in A Tramp AbroadI went often to look at the collection of curiosities in Heidelberg Castle, and one day I surprised the keeper of it with my German. I spoke entirely in that language. He was greatly interested; and after I had talked a while he said my German was very rare, possibly a 'unique'; and wanted to add it to his museum.
HeidelbergMark Twain in A Tramp AbroadMaybe not, maybe not. Cheer up, Becky, and let's go on trying.
Mark Twain in The Adventures of Tom SawyerIf you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark TwainKeep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
AmbitionMark TwainA person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Books, Knowledge, ReadingMark TwainDon't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
WorkMark TwainA banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Greed, BanksMark TwainThousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
Mark TwainGiving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Smoking, Funny QuotesMark TwainIt is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
God, Freedom, Reason & SanityMark TwainThe Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines; they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.
Germany, WineMark Twain in A Tramp AbroadWho knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first.
Mark Twain in The Adventures of Tom SawyerAh, if he could only die temporarily!
Mark Twain in The Adventures of Tom SawyerYou don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
Mark Twain in Adventures of Huckleberry FinnThe difference between the almost right word and the right word is the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.
Words, TruthMark TwainThe higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, also.
WorkMark TwainWhen I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Fathers, Father & SonMark TwainThis is the fairest picture on our planet, the most enchanting to look upon, the most satisfying to the eye and the spirit. To see the sun sink down, drowned on his pink and purple and golden floods, and overwhelm Florence with tides of color that make all the sharp lines dim and faint and turn the solid city to a city of dreams, is a sight to stir the coldest nature, and make a sympathetic one drunk with ecstasy.
FlorenceMark Twain (Autobiography)In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?
Boston, PhiladelphiaMark TwainDecember is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.
DecemberMark TwainWhisky to a Scotsman is as innocent as milk to the rest of the human race.
Scotland, Whiskey, MilkMark TwainPatriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
Governments, PatriotismMark TwainIn the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Spring, WeatherMark TwainWhenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
GermanyMark Twain