Quotes by Mark Twain

Mark Twain, real name Samuel Langhorne Clemens, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and its sequel, the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel". Twain was raised in Hannibal, Missouri, which later provided the setting for Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.

Mark Twain belongs to the following category:

Quotes by Mark Twain

Whisky to a Scotsman is as innocent as milk to the rest of the human race.

Scotland, WhiskeyMark Twain
 
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'Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read.

Mark Twain
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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

Governments, Patriotism & National PrideMark Twain
 
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Golf is a good walk spoiled.

GolfMark Twain
 
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

Spring, WeatherMark Twain
 
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The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

MotivationMark Twain
 
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My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

MotherMark Twain
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Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

GermansMark Twain
 
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'You can go home now,' Tom told us.
'We'll meet next week. Then we can rob somebody and kill some people.'

Mark Twain in Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
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I don't believe there is anything in the whole earth that you can't learn in Berlin except the German language.

Germans, BerlinMark Twain
 
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An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere.

Politics, HonestyMark Twain
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The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines; they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.

Germans, WineMark Twain in A Tramp Abroad
 
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That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.

Mark Twain in A Tramp Abroad
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I went often to look at the collection of curiosities in Heidelberg Castle, and one day I surprised the keeper of it with my German. I spoke entirely in that language. He was greatly interested; and after I had talked a while he said my German was very rare, possibly a 'unique'; and wanted to add it to his museum.

Germans, HeidelbergMark Twain in A Tramp Abroad
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

BirthMark Twain
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Maybe not, maybe not. Cheer up, Becky, and let's go on trying.

Mark Twain in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
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Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first.

Mark Twain in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
 
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Ah, if he could only die temporarily!

Mark Twain in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
 
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You don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.

Mark Twain in Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
 
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If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory.

TruthMark Twain in Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
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I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.

Mark Twain in Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
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Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

Alcohol, WhiskeyMark Twain
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If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Mark Twain
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Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Mark Twain
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Cencorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't cheew it

CensorshipMark Twain
 
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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

AmbitionMark Twain
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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Heart, LoveMark Twain
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It is my belief that Peter Pan is a great and refining and uplifting benefaction to this sordid and money-mad age; and the next best play is a long way behind.

Mark Twain
 
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The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow.

Grief, Humor & ComedyMark Twain
 
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A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

Books, Knowledge, ReadingMark Twain
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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Work & CarreerMark Twain
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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Greed, Money, BankersMark Twain
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Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.

Mark Twain
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Preserve your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but not live.

DreamingMark Twain
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Humanity, Gratitude, Animals, DogsMark Twain
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Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

OpinionsMark Twain
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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

Smoking, Funny QuotesMark Twain
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The difference between the almost right word and the right word is the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.

Words, TruthMark Twain
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It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

God, Freedom, ReasonMark Twain
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The higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, also.

Money, Work & CarreerMark Twain
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German literacy ought to be gently and reverently set aside among the dead languages, for only the dead have time to learn it.

Germans, LanguagesMark Twain
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Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles.

Life, Humanity, Craziness & WeirdnessMark Twain
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Get your facts first, and then you can distort them.

KnowledgeMark Twain
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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

KindnessMark Twain
 
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Children & Childhood, FathersMark Twain
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