The funniest Macho Jokes

I'm not God but if I were God, three quarters of you would be girls, and the rest would be pizza and beer.

Women have to be able to remain silent. A woman without silence is like a car without breaks.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

One woman? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something. There's lots of flavors out there. Rocky road, and cookie dough, and bing cherry vanilla. You can get them with jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream. Welcome back to the world, grab a spoon!

When a girl is under 21, she's protected by law. When she's over 65, she's protected by nature. Anywhere in between, she's fair game.

One of the 24 similarities between women and fish are they're both attracted to shiny objects.