The best Quotes by Lynette Scavo

I want him to have what he wants - if it's what I want.

Desperate Housewives - Season 3 Episode 6

Tom's packin'! We're talkin' big, circus big. So big, he can drive in the car pool lane when he's alone. If it falls in the forest, believe me - it makes a sound. The Washington monument looks at it and says, "I want to be you when I grow up!"

Desperate Housewives - Season 7 Episode 9

Penisses

There's no bad guys here, there's just people trying to figure things out.

Desperate Housewives - Season 8 Episode 7

Rich and single, I wonder what he looks like - you rarely get the trifecta.

Desperate Housewives - Season 8 Episode 1

Singles & Dating

Baby. Number. Five. An entire basketball team has come out of me, so I'm officially too exhausted to care!

Desperate Housewives - Season 7 Episode 1

Tom: "I never thought you'd want a fifth kid?"
Lynette: "I don't, but I didn't want the first four and they're starting to grow on me!"

Desperate Housewives - Season 3 Episode 7

We've had sex 23 days straight. I've seen more ceiling than Michelangelo!

Desperate Housewives - Season 5 Episode 21

Michelangelo Sex Erotic Quotes

Parker, I'm your mother. Mothers don't lie to their sons. Now go wash your hands or santa's not gonna bring you anything for christmas.

Desperate Housewives - Season 2 Episode 19

Mother Santa Claus Mother & Son

We will find someone - someone who doesn't remember what they were doing the day Lincoln was shot.

Desperate Housewives - Season 2 Episode 15

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The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care.

Bree Van De Kamp in Desperate Housewives - Season 2 Episode 16

Love Hatred Indifference

You should never trust a woman who just had her heart broken. We tend to lie.

Bree Van De Kamp in Desperate Housewives - Season 1 Episode 12

Women Breakup

Human beings are designed for many things, but loneliness isn't one of them.

Mary Alice Young in Desperate Housewives - Season 1 Episode 19

Solitude & Loneliness

We all havee momeents of deespeeration. If we can face them head-on, that's when we find out, how strong we really are.

Mary Alice Young in Desperate Housewives - Season 1 Episode 1

Do you know how bored I was today? I came this close to actually cleaning the house!

Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives - Season 1 Episode 1

Cleaning

Tom: "Are you as tired as I am?"
Lynette: "More. But I'm tougher, and I complain less."
Tom: "Not when you give birth - and you do that a lot."

Tom Scavo in Desperate Housewives - Season 3 Episode 16

It's like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn't have a conscience.

Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives - Season 1 Episode 1

Sex Penisses

Gabrielle Solis: "I never bragged."
Lynette Scavo: "You once called your face 'proof of God's existence'."

Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives

Lynette: "You think doing laundry is throwing dirty clothes in the hamper and getting clean ones out of the drawer."
Porter: "That's how dad does it?!"
Tom: "O-okay, let's stay on topic!"

Tom Scavo in Desperate Housewives - Season 7 Episode 15

Gabrielle: "She's Romanian! When your people are being chased into Argentina by angry cossacks, maybe a sparkling toilet isn't that important."
Carlos: "How about you stick to fractions, and I'll teach Juanita geography?"

Carlos Solis in Desperate Housewives - Season 6 Episode 7

Romania

If you lay one finger on Ana, Carlos will knock every tooth out of your mouth, which will make you pretty darn popular in prison!

Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives - Season 6 Episode 4

Prisons

Sister Mary: "Money can't buy happiness."
Gabrielle: "Well, sure it can. That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep 'em from rioting."

Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives

Julie: "No man has seen you naked in years. Except your doctor."
Susan: "And he retired. I try not to take that personally."

Susan Mayer in Desperate Housewives - Season 1 Episode 8

Singles & Dating

Andrew: "Mom...?"
Bree: "Please don't interrupt me while I'm speaking! Now what is it, dear?"
Andrew: "Danielle's upstairs trying to commit suicide. There's no rush, she's not trying that hard..."

Andrew Van de Kamp in Desperate Housewives - Season 3 Episode 5

Bree: "Well, the key is to not let them know what you're doing. This requires observation, cunning and manipulation."
Gabrielle: "Isn't it just easier to shut down your hoo-ha until he gives in?"

Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives - Season 5 Episode 23

Bree: "The man's a doctor, for heaven sakes. You've done better than I did."
Orson: "That was a bit of a drive-by."

Orson Hodge in Desperate Housewives - Season 5 Episode 10

Mike: "You're kidding. We're playing an actual gig?"
Tom: "In front of people who aren't listening just because I pay their allowance? Well, this is fantastic!"

Tom Scavo in Desperate Housewives - Season 5 Episode 7

That pine shields my view of the Purcell's backyard, and if you had ever seen Mr. Purcell sunbathe, you'd know exactly what that tree means to me.

Bree Van De Kamp in Desperate Housewives - Season 4 Episode 1

Gabrielle: "How about that? And here I was thinking some guy wants to murder me in my sleep."
Carlos: "The night's still young!"

Carlos Solis in Desperate Housewives - Season 3 Episode 12

The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection.

Michelangelo

Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.

Michelangelo

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.

Michelangelo

Dude, I don't want to talk about Lacey's prom shoes. And I'll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It's called a penis.

John Green in Paper Towns

Shoes Penisses

Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.

Natalie Portman

Intelligence Men & Women Singles & Dating

If you want more sex, just ask for it.

Damon Salvatore in The Vampire Diaries

Sex Erotic Quotes

Lust and logic never seem to go hand in hand.

Violet Sorrengail in Fourth Wing

Erotic Quotes

A mother's love is the ultimate comfort.

Dumbo

Mother Mother & Daughter

Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny... and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real?

Kyle Broflovski in South Park - Season 11 Episode 12

Luke Skywalker Superman Bugs Bunny Imagination Santa Claus

Mr. Fredricksen: "Hey, let's play a game. It's called: See Who Can Be Quiet the Longest."
Russell: "Cool, my mom loves that game."

Russell in Up

Mother & Son Mouth

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

The best Quotes by Lynette Scavo

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