The best Quotes by Louie Anderson

This is a family show, so both families never agreed not to be able to behave, like they're at home.

Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to remember a former host of Family Feud, Ray Combs. We lost Ray back in '96, but he'll be in our memory forever. He was also known for his humor, and was very loyal to our viewers. While Ray won't be around for this revival of the Feud, we will remember him for being part of our family, and we will miss him.

We stole the Statue of Liberty! The small one, from Las Vegas. I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower - also Vegas.

Phil, you let this dude [Dennis Rodman] go to vacation, we not gonna see him. You let him go to Vegas, we definitely not gonna see him.

Las Vegas is the boiling pot of entertainment.

No. Well, yes - experience.

I shouldn't be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.

Man, I really like Vegas.

Bangkok, like Las Vegas, sounds like a place where you make bad decisions.

I've spent more time in Las Vegas than any other city, almost including L.A. where I live.

Las Vegas without Wayne Newton is like Disneyland without Mickey Mouse.

I love the American Southwest, for starters. You may call them Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah. I call them heaven.

Of all the mountain ranges I have climbed, I like the Sierra Nevada the best.

Gaming is the backbone of Nevada's economy.

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Nevada - and that's pretty much the same thing.

While it's not very Minnesotan to brag, I've got to brag on our state a little here: We were just ranked #1 in the country for health care.

I was born in 1940 in Minnesota and grew up in the country... dirt roads, swamps, lakes, woods.

Ted: "It's freezing out there. Where's your coat?"
Robin: "Ted, I'm Canadian. I don't need a coat. This kind of weather is nothing for me."
Marshall: "Yeah. This is like a spring day back in Minnesota."

Minnesota, I love you snow much!

Minnesota Forecast. Today: Sun. Tomorrow: Snow. Next Day: Tornado, probably.

Minnesota girls - the kind of girl you can take home to meet your mom, but can outdrink your dad.

Most places would call it a crippling snowstorm. In Minnesota, we call it Tuesday.

Another way of enjoying Minnesota is to move to Wisconsin.

Minnesota: the only place where I get excited over a lake.

Harvey: "You gonna sit up here on national TV and say 'nekkid', and then point at the damn board like we gonna let you get away with it!"
Contestant: "I bet you said 'nekkid' in one of your comedy routines."
Harvey: "You on Family Feud! This ain't a comedy routine!"

Harvey: "When people talk about the big one, what do they refer to?"
Contestant: "A man's privates."
Harvey: "Family! I just got this job! What are you trying to do?"

Karn: "Name a famous astronaut."
Contestant: "Neil Young."

Dawson: "Name one of the Three Bears."
Air Force Captain: "Yogi."
Dawson: "This man's flying airplanes for us!"

Combs: "We asked 100 women, name something women borrow from each other."
Contestant: "One another's husbands."

Combs: "Name a famous game show host who would make a great talk show host."
Contestant: "Well, Richard... uh, I mean Ray...-"
Combs: "You can call me Richard. Besides, he hosted the very same show I'm hosting now!"

Dawson: "Name one of Santa's reindeer."
Contestant: "Adolf. "

Dawson: "Real or fictional, name a famous 'Willie'."
Contestant: "Willie the Pooh?"

Dawson: "Name a popular Halloween costume."
Contestant: "Santa Claus."

I have been studying all of the great CBS shows. I think I'm prepared, so if you're ready, let's have the first item up for bids! Wait a minute! That's the wrong show!

People say that money changes people. It really doesn't. Money don't change people. Money allows you to be more of who you really are. If you're a kind person when you get a lot of money, you become a kinder person. If you're an a-shole when you get a lot of money, you become a big a-shole. When you see rich people acting like a-sholes it's 'cause they've always been one.

Welcome to Family Feud! I'm your man Steve Harvey; we got another good one for you today.

Thank you, and welcome to Family Feud. That's where two typical American families fight it out for family honor, and a little spending money for the relatives. If I look happy tonight, I am. I just got the oil drilling rights to Jack Lord's hair!