The best Quotes from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

These are not stolen, they just haven't been paid for.

You're lucky you're still breathing, let alone able to walk. I suggest you take full advantage of that fact.

Dean: "What the f-ck do we know about antiques?"
Barry: "If it looks old, it's worth money. Simple."

Left leg, right leg, your body will follow. They call it walking.

Soap: "I'd take a pain in the arse for half a million quid."
Tom: "You'd take a pain in the arse for air miles."

A minute ago, this was the safest job in the world. Now it's turning into a bad day in Bosnia.

Gary: "Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shot?"
Barry: "Oh, you must be the brains of the operation. Yes, guns that fire shot."

Handmade in Italy, hand-stolen in Stepney.

Plank: "Ah! They f-cking shot me!"
Dog: "Well, f-cking shoot 'em back!"

Eddy: "They're armed."
Soap: "Armed, armed with what?"
Eddy: "Bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!"

Oy! Keep your fingers out of my soup!