The best Quotes from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

These are not stolen, they just haven't been paid for.

Bacon

You're lucky you're still breathing, let alone able to walk. I suggest you take full advantage of that fact.

Funny Threats

Dean: "What the f*ck do we know about antiques?"
Barry: "If it looks old, it's worth money. Simple."

Barry the Baptist

Left leg, right leg, your body will follow. They call it walking.

Bacon

Walking & Going

Soap: "I'd take a pain in the arse for half a million quid."
Tom: "You'd take a pain in the arse for air miles."

Tom

Ass

A minute ago, this was the safest job in the world. Now it's turning into a bad day in Bosnia.

Soap

Gary: "Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shot?"
Barry: "Oh, you must be the brains of the operation. Yes, guns that fire shot."

Barry the Baptist

Handmade in Italy, hand-stolen in Stepney.

Bacon

Plank: "Ah! They f*cking shot me!"
Dog: "Well, f*cking shoot 'em back!"

Dog

Eddy: "They're armed."
Soap: "Armed, armed with what?"
Eddy: "Bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!"

Eddy

Oy! Keep your fingers out of my soup!

Soap

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I've come from nowhere, and I'm not shy to go back.

Jason Statham

Revenge is a caustic thing. I say, Breathe in, breathe deeply, let it go.

Jason Statham

Revenge

People love stories about the mafia: "The Godfather", "American Gangster".

Jason Statham

The Godfather

You only get one shot in your life, and you might as well push yourself and try things!

Jason Statham

Motivation

Some of my favorite movies are action movies. You want something good to say. That comes from good writing. But writing is not a skill I possess, unfortunately.

Jason Statham

Action-Movies

Bruce Lee was just so lightning-fast. People try to emulate him in whatever way they can. No one can do what he did.

Jason Statham

Bruce Lee

Do 40 hard minutes, not an hour and a half of nonsense.

Jason Statham

Gym & Workout Motivation

There's a voice in all of us, and you can only get expressive through words. There's a limit to what you can do without speaking.

Jason Statham

I'm gonna beat you like a piñata till candy flies out of your ass!

Lucy Joe Heisner in Shameless - Season 2 Episode 4

Funny Threats

They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Funny Threats

We're gonna need someone to sweep your teeth off the floor!

Balrog in Street Fighter - II

Funny Threats

I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away, oh, to find a better day

Craig David - Walking Away, Album: Born to Do It

Walking & Going

Whose dumb idea was it to walk, anyway? Anyone can see these feet aren't made for walking!

Buttercup in The Powerpuff Girls

Walking & Going

The only important things in life are the traces of love we leave behind.

Albert Schweitzer

Love Walking & Going

It's not a crime to be an a-shole, but it's very counter-productive.

Ray Embrey in Hancock

Ass

How can you speak six languages and sound like a dick in every one of them?

Cisco Ramon in The Flash

Ass

If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.

Perry Cox in Scrubs - Season 2 Episode 5

Ass Fat People

Your cells age at half the rate of a normal human. When you're 40, you'll still have the leucocytes of a teenager.

Beast / Hank McCoy in X-Men - Erste Entscheidung

I will escape for every innocent woman whose life was stolen.

Damsel

The best Quotes from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

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