Quote by Lily Aldrin (Season 6 Episode 18)

Your heart's talking to you, Barney. Do you have the guts to listen to it?

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 18

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Lily: "Just give me his name!"
Robin: "Fine. It's Bill Pepper."
Lily: "Kind of a coincidence there happens to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin?"

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 7

Marshall: "I don't care if the dishes aren't done, okay? If you care, you do it."
Lily: "Great, then I don't care if you have an org*sm. If you care, you do it."

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 6

Ted: "I hate how you're always right."
Lily: "It's my best, and most annoying, trait."

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother

Ted: "You're not gonna do it at your wedding?"
Lily: "Hell, yeah! I'm gonna take that flower-grenade and chuck it to the crowd and scream, 'Crawl for it, b*tches!'"

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 13

Oh, this dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding night.

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 16

Do it. If you ever want to see these boobs again, crawl, you son of a me.

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 9

Barney: "I am so sorry, Cornelius. You deserve a better end than this."
Lily: "You got ketchup on a red tie, you can't even see it!"

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 9

Marshall: "During that time, I have been, how do I put this delicately, saving all my love for you."
Lily: "I have read eleven books on conception, I have cut out alcohol, caffeine and sugar. I take my temperature every hour. But good for you for not playing with yourself!"

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 1

Robin: "Have plans with Don on Saturday, he's making me Chinese."
Lily: "I'll assume you're talking about food, otherwise, I have some follow-up-questions."

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 22

Sex

In commemoration of Barney's induction into the "Hall of Game", this tie, worn on the seventh night of his perfect week, is hereby retired.

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 14

Robin: "Who wants hot-wings?"
Lily: "I'm in... or maybe we should just pour hot-sauce on Barney, since he's a total chicken."

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 1

Lily: "A swordfight? On Monday I'm gonna have to tell my kindergarten class, who I teach not to run with scissors, that my fiancé ran me through with a freakin' broadsword."
Marshall: "Well... just to be fair, it didn't go all the way through."
Lily: "I'm sorry, is this a discussion of the degree to which you stabbed me?"

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 8

Lily: "It's nine weeks 'til the wedding, at this point, I'd say yes to just about anything."
Barney: "Well..."
Lily: "No, Barney."

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 20

The "no more surprises"-thing is the best part of being married.

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 12

Surprises Marriage

So, what do you want to do tonight? Drink ourselves blind, set a car on fire? Oh, watch a movie that doesn't start with a desk lamp jumping on top of a capital "I"?

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 24

Marshall: "Lily, you snooped through her stuff?"
Lily: "No, it's like the first thing you see when you jimmy open her desk-drawer with the letter opener her grandfather left her, according to her diary."

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 19

Eventually, Nick's groin will heal and you'll be back in Sexville, where all the crossword puzzles only have one box to fill.

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 6

Ted: "So this is what you guys do? You invite other couples over for dinner, to judge them and feel superior?"
Lily: "Oh, grow up, Ted, that's why any couple invites anyone over ever!"

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 5

Relationships

Mrs. Buckminster was a spoonful of sugar. But so far, everyone we can afford on this website HeyNannyNanny.com is "Scary Poppins".

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 3

Marshall: "Are you sure this poo-poo didn't happen on your watch and you just ran out the clock until it was my problem?"
Lily: "Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, right. What kind of mother lets her son sit in his own filth for an extra nine minutes and 42 seconds?"

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 3

Ted it's fine, I'm a child of divorce. You guys keep fighting all you want - as long as the expensive gifts keep coming.

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 22

Gifts & Presents Divorce

I'm growing a child in my belly, a child that just developed ears, and it's a very thin sweater. So, please, if you must tell your story, just make it cheerful.

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 5

Marshall Eriksen, put a baby in my belly.

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 24

Marshall Eriksen

Ted, honey, I want you to go outside and bite the curb. I'll be out in a minute.

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 16

Ted: "Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch!"
[The lights turn out]
Lily: "Happy? Now you pissed up the big guy upstairs!"
Ted: "Yeah, I'm sure god cares if I..."
Man: "You use that language again and I turn off your water!"
Lily: "It's my super - he lives above me."

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 11

Ted: "I could end up marrying this woman; I want our first kiss to be special."
Lily: "Oh, that's sweet. So you chickened out like a little b*tch?"

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother

Marshall: "Yes, i want a ball-room and I want a band and I want shoes. I've been dreaming about this day since I was... like...
Lily: "...a little girl?"

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 12

It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 3

Breakup Beginning

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 17

If you're looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it's love!

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 17

Love

Barney: "Our wedding is gonna be legendary."
Robin: "No wait for it?"
Barney: "I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore."

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 1

Love declerations

Underneath all of those lies is one true thing. One true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world, and that's the fact that I love you.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 18

Love declerations

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 1

Kids, you can't cling to the past. Because no matter how tight you hold on... it's already gone.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 23

Memories Past

Nobody likes to be alone, especially after a breakup. But that's when we discover who we really are and what we really want.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 10

Breakup Solitude & Loneliness Seperation & Breakup

Well, maybe this isn't a breakup. Maybe this is two friends getting back together.

Robin Scherbatsky in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 7

Friendship Relationships

Marshall: "When a woman puts on an engagement ring, it's like when Bilbo Baggins wears the One Ring in The Hobbit."
Robin: "Okay, can you say that again, but not in nerd?"
Marshall: "Sure. Uh, the ring is like the cloak that Harry Potter wears to sneak around Hogwarts."
Robin: "Yeah, I don't speak virgin either."

Robin Scherbatsky in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 14

Bilbo Baggins The Hobbit Nerds Quotes about Harry Potter Quotes about Lord of the Rings

Marshall: "It's kind of a big, professional meeting. You might want to trade out that lollipop for a shirt."
Ted: "Yeah. I'll just give it to one of these kids."
Marshall: "Oh, buddy. You're half naked, you're not a parent to any of these children. Don't offer 'em candy!"

Marshall Eriksen in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 9

Being naked

When you do one good deed, it creates a ripple effect. One good deed leads to another and another.

Marshall Eriksen in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 8

Being nice

Quinn: "In the event of divorce, Miss Garvey shall get full custody of Mr. Stinson's suits."
Barney: "Why? What would you do with them?"
Quinn: "Nothing. I'd just sit around and watch them go out of style."

Quinn Garvey in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 2

Suits

If we miss Hawaii because of this, guess who's not doing "The Disappearing Salami" anytime soon?

Quinn Garvey in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 24

Ted: "Robin and I already had our backslide. Last Thanksgiving, not even that long ago."
Stella: "Did you place a large bet against yourself?"

Stella Zinman in How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 5

Ted: "We can do it against the door. It will be hot. It will be like a three-way: you, me and the door."
Stella: "Yeah, but then it's going to be weird between me and the door tomorrow."

Stella Zinman in How I Met Your Mother - Season 3 Episode 18

Barney: "You avoiding the family too?"
James: "I'm gay, I'm black and I'm getting a divorce. Those walking skeletons are gonna have more questions for me than their pharmacists."

James Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 3

Homosexuality & LGBTQ+Divorce

The Pork Authority is closed. Looks like it's Hand Central Station for you little buddy.

James Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 7

The baby slide right out, huh? It's like a 'whoosh', like a waterslide. [Lily screaming] Slightly painful waterslide.

Dr. Sonya in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 23

If you don't push, I will shove that baby up your throat and pull it out of your mouth!

Dr. Sonya in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 23

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

Quote by Lily Aldrin (Season 6 Episode 18)

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