The best Quotes by Lily Aldrin

Your heart's talking to you, Barney. Do you have the guts to listen to it?

How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 18

Lily: "Just give me his name!"
Robin: "Fine. It's Bill Pepper."
Lily: "Kind of a coincidence there happens to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin?"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 7

Marshall: "I don't care if the dishes aren't done, okay? If you care, you do it."
Lily: "Great, then I don't care if you have an org*sm. If you care, you do it."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 6

Ted: "I hate how you're always right."
Lily: "It's my best, and most annoying, trait."

How I Met Your Mother

Ted: "You're not gonna do it at your wedding?"
Lily: "Hell, yeah! I'm gonna take that flower-grenade and chuck it to the crowd and scream, 'Crawl for it, b*tches!'"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 13

Oh, this dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding night.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 16

Do it. If you ever want to see these boobs again, crawl, you son of a me.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 9

Barney: "I am so sorry, Cornelius. You deserve a better end than this."
Lily: "You got ketchup on a red tie, you can't even see it!"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 9

Marshall: "During that time, I have been, how do I put this delicately, saving all my love for you."
Lily: "I have read eleven books on conception, I have cut out alcohol, caffeine and sugar. I take my temperature every hour. But good for you for not playing with yourself!"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 1

Robin: "Have plans with Don on Saturday, he's making me Chinese."
Lily: "I'll assume you're talking about food, otherwise, I have some follow-up-questions."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 22

Sex

In commemoration of Barney's induction into the "Hall of Game", this tie, worn on the seventh night of his perfect week, is hereby retired.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 14

Robin: "Who wants hot-wings?"
Lily: "I'm in... or maybe we should just pour hot-sauce on Barney, since he's a total chicken."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 1

Lily: "A swordfight? On Monday I'm gonna have to tell my kindergarten class, who I teach not to run with scissors, that my fiancé ran me through with a freakin' broadsword."
Marshall: "Well... just to be fair, it didn't go all the way through."
Lily: "I'm sorry, is this a discussion of the degree to which you stabbed me?"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 8

Lily: "It's nine weeks 'til the wedding, at this point, I'd say yes to just about anything."
Barney: "Well..."
Lily: "No, Barney."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 20

The "no more surprises"-thing is the best part of being married.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 12

Surprises Marriage

So, what do you want to do tonight? Drink ourselves blind, set a car on fire? Oh, watch a movie that doesn't start with a desk lamp jumping on top of a capital "I"?

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 24

Marshall: "Lily, you snooped through her stuff?"
Lily: "No, it's like the first thing you see when you jimmy open her desk-drawer with the letter opener her grandfather left her, according to her diary."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 19

Eventually, Nick's groin will heal and you'll be back in Sexville, where all the crossword puzzles only have one box to fill.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 6

Ted: "So this is what you guys do? You invite other couples over for dinner, to judge them and feel superior?"
Lily: "Oh, grow up, Ted, that's why any couple invites anyone over ever!"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 5

Relationships

Mrs. Buckminster was a spoonful of sugar. But so far, everyone we can afford on this website HeyNannyNanny.com is "Scary Poppins".

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 3

Marshall: "Are you sure this poo-poo didn't happen on your watch and you just ran out the clock until it was my problem?"
Lily: "Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, right. What kind of mother lets her son sit in his own filth for an extra nine minutes and 42 seconds?"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 3

Ted it's fine, I'm a child of divorce. You guys keep fighting all you want - as long as the expensive gifts keep coming.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 22

Gifts & Presents Divorce

I'm growing a child in my belly, a child that just developed ears, and it's a very thin sweater. So, please, if you must tell your story, just make it cheerful.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 5

Marshall Eriksen, put a baby in my belly.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 24

Marshall Eriksen

Ted, honey, I want you to go outside and bite the curb. I'll be out in a minute.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 16

Ted: "Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch!"
[The lights turn out]
Lily: "Happy? Now you pissed up the big guy upstairs!"
Ted: "Yeah, I'm sure god cares if I..."
Man: "You use that language again and I turn off your water!"
Lily: "It's my super - he lives above me."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 11

Ted: "I could end up marrying this woman; I want our first kiss to be special."
Lily: "Oh, that's sweet. So you chickened out like a little b*tch?"

How I Met Your Mother

Marshall: "Yes, i want a ball-room and I want a band and I want shoes. I've been dreaming about this day since I was... like...
Lily: "...a little girl?"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 12

Sex now, we'll do the foreplay after.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 17

Sex

Barney, check it! Three blond babies drinking bad-decision-juice at eight o'clock.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 15

Hey, nice shirt, Ted. Is it yesterday already?

How I Met Your Mother

Yes, I'm in a rotten mood. No, I don't want to talk about it. Yes, this has booze in it. No, it's not my first.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 8

Marshall: "Can we borrow your air mattress? My mom's coming into town for a few days."
Ted: "Absolutely not!"
Lily: "Bummer, I guess she can't stay with us. Hey, look what I just found! A list of hotels and other creative housing options."
Marshall: "Baby, my mom is not staying at a hotel. Or our storage unit."

How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 10

Marshall: "Baby, you're like 20 sl*tty chicks all rolled into one."
Lily: "Sweet-talk is not gonna change my mind!"

How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 19

I think my soul just threw up a little bit.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 10

When Barney overhears that Ted and Robin have a secret to reveal at the wedding reception, he begins to guess what it might be.

How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 22

Quotes about Lily Aldrin

Barney: "On your tombstone, it will be, 'Lily Aldrin. Caring wife. Loving friend. Slapbet-Commissioner.'"
Marshall: "And your tombstone will read, 'Got slapped by Marhsall so hard he died.'"

Marshall Eriksen in How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 9

Barney Stinson

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It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 3

Breakup Beginning

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 17

If you're looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it's love!

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 17

Love

Barney: "Our wedding is gonna be legendary."
Robin: "No wait for it?"
Barney: "I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore."

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 1

Love declerations

Kids, you can't cling to the past. Because no matter how tight you hold on... it's already gone.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 23

Memories Past

Underneath all of those lies is one true thing. One true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world, and that's the fact that I love you.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 18

Love declerations

Nobody likes to be alone, especially after a breakup. But that's when we discover who we really are and what we really want.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 10

Breakup Solitude & Loneliness Seperation & Breakup

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 1

You know how sometimes you'll meet a girl and there'll be that one bewitching little detail that'll make you fall in love with her instantly? You know, a little freckle on the nose, the lilt of her laugh, the way she pronounces a certain word or phrase...

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 21

Falling in love

This woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to, and there have been times that I wanted to.
It has been overwhelming and humbling and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 6

Love Love declerations

Marshall: "It's kind of a big, professional meeting. You might want to trade out that lollipop for a shirt."
Ted: "Yeah. I'll just give it to one of these kids."
Marshall: "Oh, buddy. You're half naked, you're not a parent to any of these children. Don't offer 'em candy!"

Marshall Eriksen in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 9

Being naked

Barney: "Ted what is my one rule?"
Ted: "You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Flax seed relieves upset stomach?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Lily invites you to something stupid?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Labanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there."
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "New is always better?"
Barney: "New is always better!"

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 18

If you want more sex, just ask for it.

Damon Salvatore in The Vampire Diaries

Sex Erotic Quotes

The best Quotes by Lily Aldrin

Quotes about Lily Aldrin

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