The best Quotes from Monty Python’s Life of Brian

You know, you come from nothing, you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!

Brian: "You're all individuals!"
People: "Yes, we're all individuals!"
Brian: "You're all different!"
People: "Yes, we are all different!"
Man: "I'm not."

Centurion: "Crucifixion lasts hours, it's a slow, horrible death."
Matthias: "Well, at least it gets you out in the open air."

Wise Man: "We are three wise men."
Brian's mother: "Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me."

Sit down, have a scone, make yourself at home... you klutz!

Matthias: "Lay off! We haven't started yet."
Priest: "Come on! Who threw that? Who threw that stone? Come on!"
Women: "She did! She did! He did! He did!"
Woman: "Sorry, I thought we'd started."
Priest: "Go to the back!"

All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health. What have the Romans ever done for us?

Throw him to the floor, please!

Should be a good one this afternoon. Local boy.

You break my bloody foot, you break my vow of silence and then you try and clean up on my juniper bushes!

Cheer up, Brian! You know what they say. Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble. Give a whistle, and this'll help things turn out for the best. [sings] Always look on the bright side of life...

Brian: "Are you the Judean People's Front?"
Reg: "F off! We're the People's Front of Judea!"

Reg: "What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?"
Francis: "It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression."
Reg: "It's symbolic of his struggle against reality..."

I say you are Lord! And I should know, I've followed a few.

Brian: "Will you please listen? I'm not the Messiah! Do you understand? Honestly!"
Woman: "Only the true Messiah denies his divinity!"
Brian: "What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right, I am the Messiah!"
Crowd: "He is! He is the Messiah!"