You know, you come from nothing, you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!- Monty Python’s Life of Brian
Brian: 'Will you please listen? I'm not the Messiah! Do you understand? Honestly!'
Woman: 'Only the true Messiah denies his divinity!'
Brian: 'What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right, I am the Messiah!'
Crowd: 'He is! He is the Messiah!'
I say you are Lord! And I should know, I've followed a few.- Monty Python’s Life of Brian, by Arthur
Sit down, have a scone, make yourself at home... you klutz!- Monty Python’s Life of Brian, by Reg
All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health. What have the Romans ever done for us?- Monty Python’s Life of Brian, by Reg
Cheer up, Brian! You know what they say. Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble. Give a whistle, and this'll help things turn out for the best. [sings] Always look on the bright side of life...- Monty Python’s Life of Brian
Centurion: 'Crucifixion lasts hours, it's a slow, horrible death.'
Matthias: 'Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.'
Throw him to the floor, please!- Monty Python’s Life of Brian, by Pilatus
Brian: 'Are you the Judean People's Front?'
Reg: 'Fuck off! We're the People's Front of Judea!'
Reg: 'What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?'
Francis: 'It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.'
Reg: 'It's symbolic of his struggle against reality...'
Wise Man: 'We are three wise men.'
Brian's mother: 'Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.'