The best Quotes from Monty Python’s Life of Brian

The best Quotes from Monty Python’s Life of Brian

Monty Python's Life of Brian is a 1979 British comedy film starring and written by the comedy group Monty Python.

You know, you come from nothing, you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!

12

Brian: "You're all individuals!"
People: "Yes, we're all individuals!"
Brian: "You're all different!"
People: "Yes, we are all different!"
Man: "I'm not."

10

Centurion: "Crucifixion lasts hours, it's a slow, horrible death."
Matthias: "Well, at least it gets you out in the open air."

Matthias

5

Sit down, have a scone, make yourself at home... you klutz!

Reg

5

Wise Man: "We are three wise men."
Brian's mother: "Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me."

Brians Mutter

4

All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health. What have the Romans ever done for us?

Reg

4

Matthias: "Lay off! We haven't started yet."
Priest: "Come on! Who threw that? Who threw that stone? Come on!"
Women: "She did! She did! He did! He did!"
Woman: "Sorry, I thought we'd started."
Priest: "Go to the back!"

3

Throw him to the floor, please!

Pilatus

3

Reg: "What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?"
Francis: "It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression."
Reg: "It's symbolic of his struggle against reality..."

Reg

3

Should be a good one this afternoon. Local boy.

2

You break my bloody foot, you break my vow of silence and then you try and clean up on my juniper bushes!

2

Cheer up, Brian! You know what they say. Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble. Give a whistle, and this'll help things turn out for the best. [sings] Always look on the bright side of life...

2

Brian: "Are you the Judean People's Front?"
Reg: "F off! We're the People's Front of Judea!"

Reg

2

I say you are Lord! And I should know, I've followed a few.

Arthur

1

Brian: "Will you please listen? I'm not the Messiah! Do you understand? Honestly!"
Woman: "Only the true Messiah denies his divinity!"
Brian: "What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right, I am the Messiah!"
Crowd: "He is! He is the Messiah!"

1

Quotes about Monty Python’s Life of Brian

The Americans all love 'The Holy Grail', and the English all love 'Life Of Brian', and I'm afraid on this one, I side with the English.

John Cleese

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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There are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.

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1

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We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified.

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I hope I will have achieved something lasting.

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You know, Python should have won a Grammy for our musical work on the show.

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We come from nothing, we are going back to nothing - in the end what have we lost? Nothing!

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A murderer is only an extroverted suicide.

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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

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If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

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I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

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I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.

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I don't miss London much. I find it crowded, vast and difficult to get around. Cabs are incredibly expensive.

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Frenchman: "You empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
Sir Galahad: "Is there someone else up there we can talk to?"
Frenchman: "No! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"

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Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!

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"Who's that then?"
"I dunno. Must be a king."
"Why?"
"He hasn't got shit all over him."

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

There's no death for those who don't fear it.

It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

40

Character Decisions

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Craig Ferguson

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Harvey Dent: "When their enemies were at the gates, the Romans would suspend democracy and appoint one man to protect the city. It wasn't considered an honor, it was considered a public service."
Rachel Dawes: "Harvey, the last man who they appointed the Republic was named Caesar and he never gave up his power."
Harvey Dent: "Okay, fine. you either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain..."

Harvey Dent in Batman - The Dark Knight

5

Julius Caesar Rome

Ah, I see you have the machine that goes "ping!". This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to - that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

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We find your American beer like making love in a canoe. It's f-ing close to water.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!

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No day of my life passes without someone saying the words "Monty Python" to me. It's not bad.

1

The human race should just slow down and think about what it is doing.

Michael Palin

I loved every minute of Python and owe so much to them.

Carol Cleveland - June 2014

What really alarms me about President Bush's "War on Terrorism" is the grammar. How do you wage war on an abstract noun? How is "Terrorism" going to surrender? It's well known, in philological circles, that it's very hard for abstract nouns to surrender.

Terry Jones

I've given up asking questions. l merely float on a tsunami of acceptance of anything life throws at me... and marvel stupidly.

Terry Gilliam

Your cells age at half the rate of a normal human. When you're 40, you'll still have the leucocytes of a teenager.

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Related pages to Monty Python’s Life of Brian

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Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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