The best Quotes from Lethal Weapon

I'm too old for this sh-t.

You have the right to remain unconscious. Anything you say ain't gonna be much.

Murtaugh: "God hates me. That's what it is."
Riggs: "Hate him back; it works for me."

I was driving before you were an itch in your daddy's pants!

Riggs: "You don't trust me at all, do you?"
Murtaugh: "Well, I'll tell you what. You make it through tomorrow without killing anybody, especially me, or yourself, then I'll start trusting you."
Riggs: "Fair enough."

Leo Getz: "Those doctors are savages. I mean, where does it say that a gunshot wound requires a rectal exam? With a telescope big enough to see Venus!"
Martin Riggs: "I guess all they saw was Uranus, huh?"

Riggs: "You want me to drive?"
Murtaugh: "No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'll drive."
Riggs: "Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal."

We are partners. What happens to you, happens to me.

What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here!

Murtaugh: "Hey Riggs! You really like my wife's cooking?"
Riggs: "No. See you tomorrow."

Murtaugh: "Have you ever met anybody you didn't kill?"
Riggs: "Well, I haven't killed you yet."

I'm only smoking to take my mind off my dog biscuit problem.

Murtaugh: "See how easy that was? Boom, still alive. Now we question him. You know why we question him? Because I got him in the leg. I didn't shoot him full of holes or try to jump off a building with him."
Riggs: "Hey, that's no fair. The building guy lived!"

Murtaugh: "What do you do, sleep with that thing under your pillow?"
Riggs: "I would if I slept."

Murtaugh: "You saved my life. Thank you."
Riggs: "Oh, I'll bet that hurt to say."
Murtaugh: "You'll never know."

I don't make things complicated. That's the way they get, all by themselves.

Murtaugh: "Remarks like that will not get you invited to Christmas dinner."
Martin Riggs: "My luck's changing for the better every day."

You know, Roger, you are way behind the times. The guys of the 80s aren't tough. They are sensitive people. Show a little emotion to a woman and shit like that. I think I'm an '80s man.

I'm not a cop tonight, Roger, it's personal.

I'm Leo Getz, and whatever you want, Leo gets. Get it?