Quotes by Leonard Hofstadter

That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.

Leonard: "I can't believe you've never seen 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'."
Penny: "And I can't believe you've never read 'Eat, Pray, Love'."
Leonard: "When she comes out with 'Eat, Pray, Run away from a giant boulder', I'll read it."

Sheldon: "At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?"
Leonard: "At the hands of your roommate?"
Sheldon: "An accident."
Leonard: "That's how I'm going to make it look."

Penny: "Yes, I will go out with you."
Leonard: "Really?"
Penny: "Yeah. Why not? I mean, what do I have to lose?"
Leonard: "Yeah. That's the spirit!"

Penny: "What a cute, little store... everybody's staring at me?"
Leonard: "Don't worry, they're more scared of you, than you are of them."

Sheldon: "I'm not quite sure. It involves a part of the human experience that has always eluded me."
Leonard: "That narrows it down."

Penny: "Oh, it's not a date, Leonard. It's just a man and a woman hanging out, not having sex at the end of the night."
Leonard: "Sounds like most of my dates."

I'm tired of running to the gas station to use the bathroom. The guy makes me buy a Gatorade every time - it's a vicious circle.

Oh my god, I'm lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda!

Penny: "Leonard, I didn't know you played the cello."
Leonard: "Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough."

Leonard: "Sorry 'bout your car, by the way."
Penny: "Oh no, it's fine. You got most of it out the window."
Leonard: "The poor guy on the bike."

Leoanrd: "Is this the high-IQ spermbank?"
Woman: "If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be here!"