The best Quotes by Laura Prepon

I never think of myself as any kind of sex symbol, but I get letters from all over, all sorts. It's really cool. I get a lot from inmates, which is kind of scary. But the best was the guy who wanted to send me a plane ticket to fly me to his prom.

I like to think I'll just be walking down the street one day and stop and meet someone, like, 'Oh my God, you're awesome,' and then we start dating.

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Rule Number One: Don't ever fall in love with a straight girl.

Alex Vause in Orange Is the New Black

I'm pretty much the master of handling things completely wrong.

Alex Vause in Orange Is the New Black

Well, I think that... when you have a connection with someone, it never really goes away, you know?

Alex Vause in Orange Is the New Black

You're a beautiful, sweet girl. F*ck this guy!

Nicky Nichols in Orange Is the New Black

What do I think love is? It's like when someone makes your stomach feel all tight, but floaty at the same time, you know? And your cheeks hurt from smiling. And you smile so much, that people think something's wrong with you.
...And also f*cking. Twenty-four seven, deep-dick, can't-walk-right f*cking.

Aleida Diaz in Orange Is the New Black

"What's love to you?"
Flaca: "It's like getting into a bath, but the water is like warm chocolate pudding. And the Smiths are playing ‘There Is A Light That Never Goes Out.' There's mood lighting all over, and there's like five dudes massaging you."
Maritza: "And you have a pizza!"
Flaca: "She's right. You also have a pizza."

Marisol 'Flaca' Gonzales & Maritza Ramos in Orange Is the New Black

Pizza

All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and to absorb it's power.

Galina 'Red' Reznikov in Orange Is the New Black

You gotta move...The f*ck...On!

Gloria Mendoza in Orange Is the New Black

If I hadn't buried my feelings so deep I would totally be tearing up right now.

Maritza Ramos in Orange Is the New Black

Pain is always there cause life is freaking painful, okay?

Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett in Orange Is the New Black

I would very much like to return your witty banter, but I am too exhausted to be clever.

Galina 'Red' Reznikov in Orange Is the New Black

I hate it when you talk sometimes. No... all the time.

Nicky Nichols in Orange Is the New Black

(Love is) pain, horrible pain, that you want again and again.

Sophia Burset in Orange Is the New Black

This is why you never go to New Jersey!

Donatello-TMNT in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

New Jersey

The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent.

Conan O'Brien

New Jersey

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, we gotta go to Jersey.

Hulk in What If…? - Season 1 Episode 4

New Jersey

I feel like if you're in Jersey, you have to be a Jersey Devils fan. Anybody born within the confines of the border of the state of New Jersey, I feel, should be a Jersey Devils fan.

Kevin Smith

New Jersey

The state of New Jersey is really two places - terrible cities and wonderful suburbs. I live in the suburbs, the final battleground of the American dream, where people get married and have kids and try to scratch out a happy life for themselves. It's very romantic in that way, but a bit naive. I like to play with that in my work.

Harlan Coben

New Jersey

If you're not careful, Netflix & Chill can turn into Disney+ & Children pretty damn fast.

Funny Quotes Netflix

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Dean Martin

Alcohol Funny Quotes

Do you know the parable about the frog in the cream? Two frogs landed in a pail of cream. One, thinking rationally, understood straight away that there was no point in resistance and that you can't deceive destiny. But then what if there's an afterlife – why bother jumping around, entertaining false hopes in vain? He crossed his legs and sank to the bottom. The second, the fool, was probably an atheist. And she started to flop around. It would seem that she had no reason to flail about if everything was predestined. But she flopped around and flopped around anyway . . . Meanwhile, the cream turned to butter. And she crawled out. We honour the memory of this second frog's friend, eternally damned for the sake of progress and rational thought.

Dmitry Glukhovsky in Metro - 2033

Frogs

You need to figure out what the f*ck you want.

Nicky Nichols in Orange Is the New Black

Larry Bloom: "Piper, you put a pee stick in my rinsing cup."
Piper Chapman: "Well, you put your pee stick in my v*gina. And that's why we're in this situation."

Piper Chapman in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 8

Vaginas

Larry Bloom: "Are we at least gonna talk about other options?"
Piper Chapman: "You mean..."
Larry Bloom: "It's not Voldemort, you can say it. Abortion."

Larry Bloom in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 8

Red: "Black girls hear about a chicken, of course this will happen."
Piper: "Why, because all black people love chicken?"
Red: "Don't be racist. Because they're all on heroin, and somebody's been telling them there's heroin in the chicken."

Galina 'Red' Reznikov in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 5

Pennsatucky: "It weren't my fault. I was just doing as the Spirit commanded."
Pussey: "F*ck are you? Joan of Arc?"
Pennsatucky: "No, I'm from Waynesboro, my name is Tiffany..."

Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 5

What the hell is the matter with you? You tryin' out for the retard Olympics?

George 'Pornstache' Mendez in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 5

I'm not surviving, I'm just existing.

Brook Soso in Orange Is the New Black - Season 3

Larry: "She's guilty she's leaving. It's a guilt pig roasting box."
Pete: "At least you get something. I'm not getting laid for a year too. But what do I get?"
Larry: "A baby?"
Pete: "You can't eat it."

Pete Harper in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 1

Lorna Morello: "I need to start tightening up. You're making me feel like a cave."
Nicky Nichols: "Baby, it's a c*nt, it stretches!"
Lorna Morello: "Yeah, sometimes I feel like you're trying to climb inside my womb."

Lorna Morello in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 5

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

Deadpool

The best Quotes by Laura Prepon

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