Prison sentences are a lot like penises. If they're used correctly, even a short one can do the trick... is a rumor I have heard.
John Oliver in Last Week Tonight, Mandatory MinimumsComment
Home improvement stores are a lethal combination of everything that can ruin a relationship: Spending money, reconciling tastes, long-term planning and fluorescent lighting.
John Oliver in Last Week Tonight, Home Depot Commercial1
Comment
9 out of the top 10 drug makers spent more on marketing, than they did on research. Drug companies are a bit like highschool boyfriends. They're much more concerned with getting inside you, than being effective once they're in there.
High SchoolJohn Oliver in Last Week Tonight, Marketing to Doctors1
Comment
The only problem is, Budweiser is one of FIFA's key sponsors. And they sell a product they reflexivly insist on calling 'beer'.
BeerJohn Oliver in Last Week Tonight, World Cup ExcitementComment
Comment