The best Quotes by Kyle Broflovski

Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny... and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real?

South Park - Season 11 Episode 12

Luke Skywalker Superman Bugs Bunny Imagination Santa Claus

Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!

South Park - Season 1 Episode 1

Stan: "I know what did cause the flood."
Kyle: "George Bush?"
Stan: "No!"
Kyle: "Terrorists?"
Stan: "No!"
Kyle: "Communists?"
Stan: "Nein!"
Kyle: "Chinese radicals"
Stan: "Nein!"
Kyle: "Cartman?"
Stan: "Sort of..."

South Park - Season 9 Episode 8

Mr. Garrison: "Oh, for Pete's sake! What've you bastards done now?!"
Cartman: "Hey! That was Kyle that went number two in urinal!"
Kyle: "No, it wasn't, fat*ss... I saw you do it!"

South Park - Season 3 Episode 13

Stuart McCormick: "We don't have a Nintendo, we got a calico-vision plugged into the black and white TV."
Kyle: "Oh my god, this is like a third world country."

South Park - Season 2 Episode 10

Third World Nintendo

Kyle: "Scary monsters don't eat big, fat, smelly b*tches."
Mrs. Crabtree: "What did you say?!"
Kyle: "I said, Larry King won't grant me 3 wishes!"

South Park - Season 2 Episode 7

Stan: "Oh, my God, they killed Kenny."
Kyle: "You bastards!"

South Park

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I love life. Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like... it makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.

Butters Stotch in South Park - Season 7 Episode 14

Life Breakup Grief & Condolence

Do you know what happened to the last people Germans were pissed off at? Tell him, Kyle!

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 15 Episode 2

A bl*wjob isn't with your mouth, it's with your heart. Now get on your knees and put that heart to work.

Randy Marsh in South Park - Season 15 Episode 11

Mouth

Terrorist: "America had other enemies before the Muslims, you know? Who is America's oldest enemy?"
Cartman: "The Russians?"
Terrorist: "Before that!"
Cartman: "The Germans?"
Terrorist: "Before that."
Cartman: "The Germans again?"

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 11 Episode 4

What's the matter, you got some sand in your v-gina?

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 5 Episode 2

When a chick says we need to talk, you might as well start punching yourself in the balls, dude.

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 14 Episode 10

Relationships

Statistically speaking, the most bacteria-ridden place on the planet is the mouth of an American woman.

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 13 Episode 1

Mouth

Cartman: "Have you seen this trick? When someone's sleeping, you can take a glass of warm water, and when you put their hand in it..."
Stan: "And then what?"
Cartman: "...and then you pee on them!"
Kyle: "No, dude! You're supposed to put their hand in warm water to make THEM pee!"
Cartman: "Really? Oh well."

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 6 Episode 2

[Playing Chatroulette with Kyle] This is the way the world works, if you want to find some quality friends you have to wade through all the dicks fist.

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 14 Episode 4

Friendship

Stan: "Rings that say they not gonna have sex or doing anything naughty anymore."
Butters: "A ring that says you'll be together but not have sex... isn't that called the wedding ring?"

Butters Stotch in South Park - Season 13 Episode 1

The only way to fight hate is with even more hate!

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 9 Episode 11

I can't lose weight, Butters, because I'm not fat, I'm big-boned. You can't slim down bones, stupid!

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 6 Episode 1

Stan: "Dude, I wonder where Kyle is."
Cartman: "Maybe he caught a disease and died, that'd be so awesome."
Stan: "Dude that's not funny, you shouldn't joke about that."
Cartman: "Who's joking?"

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 7 Episode 11

Mr. Garrison: "Then maybe you can tell me who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early sixties."
Eric Cartman: "A bunch of fat old sk-nks on their periods?"
Mr. Garrison: "Right, but who was the fattest oldest sk-nk on her period?"

Mr. Garrison in South Park - Season 7 Episode 5

Teacher: "You think art is not important?"
Stan: "Well, art is just kinda for gaywads."
Butters: "I love our class!"
Stan: "See?!"

Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 7 Episode 2

Chefkoch: "Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him."
Stan: "Marry him?"
Chefkoch: "It definitely worked for every woman i ever met."

Chef in South Park - Season 6 Episode 2

Fat People

Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi. Your destiny.

Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker

Jedi

I'll never turn to the dark side. You've failed, your highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.

Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

Jedi

The Force is not a power you have. It's not about lifting rocks. It's the energy between all things, a tension, a balance, that binds the universe together.

Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi

Jedi

See, if the bullets don't work, right, why the punching? I just never understood that.

Superman in Supergirl - Season 2 Episode 2

Jimmy Olsen: "There's Mr. Kent. Bet he wishes he'd been around when it all happened."
Lois Lane: "Clark, he's never around when Superman appears."

Lois Lane in Superman - II

I'm from Kansas. It's about as American as you can get.

Superman in Superman - Man of Steel

Kansas

Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive!

Bugs Bunny in Looney Tunes

I know this defies the law of gravity, but I never studied law!

Bugs Bunny in Looney Tunes

Of course I talk to myself. Because sometimes, I need expert advice.

Bugs Bunny in Looney Tunes

Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?

Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Imagination

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

George Carlin

Funny Quotes Santa Claus Bad Girls

We can't achieve peace if we don't fight poverty in third world countries.

Siegfried Lenz

Third World

There's this certain level of passion at Nintendo. It's just so beautiful. They love the games, they love the characters. The drive that moves the technology forward I think is born out of the absolute love for the games.

Charles Martinet

Nintendo

All I think about is all the problems our generation is inheriting. Climate change, over fishing, Kyle... I mean, how are we supposed to get happy about anything?

Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 23 Episode 1

Gerald Broflovski: "Well that does it, I'm going to the police!"
Stan: "For what?"
Gerald Broflovski: "To find out where Apple is keeping my son."
Stan: "Dude, when the police want to know where somebody is, they ask Apple!"

Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 15 Episode 1

Apple

Chefkoch: "Why 'oh oh'?"
Gerald Brovlovski: "Chef, that's Johnny Cochran. He's the one that got O.J. off."
Chefkoch: "Oh oh..."

Chef in South Park - Season 2 Episode 14

I'm not gonna be confused anymore just because you say I should be! My name is Butters, I'm eight years old, I'm blood type O, and I'm bi-curious! And even that's okay! Because if I'm bi-curious, and I'm somehow made from God, then I think your God must be a little bi-curious himself!

Butters Stotch in South Park - Season 11 Episode 2

I'm not high! I haven't been high since Wednesday. Oh, oh it is Wednesday?

Towelie in South Park

Mr Garrison: "What is 5x2? Come on, children. Don't be shy, just give it your best shot. Yes, Clyde?"
Clyde: "12?"
Mr Garrison: "Okay, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard."

Mr. Garrison in South Park

I've learned something today. You can't win all the time. If you don't win, you can't hold it against the person who did. Because that's the only way you ever really lose.

Wendy Testaburger in South Park - Season 1 Episode 2

Randy: "Can't you see that if we fall to New Jersey, California is next?"
Schwarzenegger: "No, because Utah is between Colorado and California."
Randy: "Fine. Well, when Utah gets taken over by New Jersey, then who's next?"
Schwarzenegger: "Nevada."
Randy: "Oh really? Okay Mr. 'I'm Awesome at Geography'!"

Randy Marsh in South Park - Season 14 Episode 9

Everything's legal in Mexico, it's the American way.

Uncle Jimbo in South Park - Season 2 Episode 8

Mexico

Officer Barbrady: "Well just as soon as I handle all the other crime in South Park, I'm gonna go with you to the planetarium, so I can prove that nothing's wrong."
Stan: "What other crime in South Park?"
Officer Barbrady: "Oh yeah... let's go."

Officer Barbrady in South Park - Season 2 Episode 11

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

The best Quotes by Kyle Broflovski

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