The best Quotes from the Kitchen

Cooking is like snow skiing: If you don't fall at least 10 times, then you're not skiing hard enough.

Alan: "Charlie, there's a half naked woman in our kitchen!"
Charlie: "Which half?"

Marshall: "Let the dinnertainment begin!"
Barney: "That reminds me there's this other restaurant we should try sometime. What they do is, they cook you a meal, in a little room called a 'kitchen'."

Don't ever let a recipe tell you how much garlic to put in. You measure that with your heart.

Do I look like someone who cooks? I can open a can of Coke Light, that's it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I'm always cooking very slow so the eggs have enough time to process their separation.

I have to go out for lunch and dinner because I can't cook. I need a woman to come and save me from my cooking.

There is no bad food, only bad cooks.

I would love to date a chef. I'd probably get really fat, but I don't care.

"We'll need 2 cups of rice and 6 cups of water."
"I'm not sure if I've got that many cups."

I do not stick to rules when cooking. I rely on my imagination.

My cooking is very simple, so I don't really use machines at all. A knife, cutting board, frying pan and strainer are my essentials.

No matter how tough the meat may be, it's going to be tender if you slice it thin enough.

When I'm hiring a cook for one of my restaurants, and I want to see what they can do, I usually ask them to make me an omelette.

Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook, and a good digestion.

Roast beef, medium, is not only a food. It is a philosophy.

Tokyo would probably be the foreign city if I had to eat one city's food for the rest of my life, every day. It would have to be Tokyo, and I think the majority of chefs you ask that question would answer the same way.

A favorite cooking method? I'm a fan of all of them. Anything that gets a pile of random ingredients into a cruelty-free dish works for me.

If you want to become a great chef, you have to work with great chefs. And that's exactly what I did.

I cook, I create, I'm incredibly excited by what I do, I've still got a lot to achieve.

You don't come into cooking to get rich.

When you cook under pressure you trade perfection.

The damage has been done. All that's left to do now is drink until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures is dead.

Alan: "What are you afraid off?"
Charlie: "I'm afraid I'm gonna hit you so hard, I'll be an only-child."

Alan: "Charlie, I need you to be my eyes and ears."
Charlie: "Okay, but you have to be my liver and prostate."

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney: "Our wedding is gonna be legendary."
Robin: "No wait for it?"
Barney: "I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore."

Underneath all of those lies is one true thing. One true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world, and that's the fact that I love you.

Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience.

In Japanese, sushi does not mean "raw fish". It means "seasoned rice".

When God understand that only the best go skiing, he created football for the rest.

When I'm in the starting gate, it's just me and the hill.

What goes up must come down.

You don't learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing and by falling over.

Women reject me for 100 different reasons. White teeth would reduce that to 99 problems.

Well, listen, just remember, that love will get u through times of no money better, than money will get you through times of no love.

I have to see myself naked! That's all that counts. If I'm not happy with my naked body, who will be?

I think shoulders are sexier than cleavage.

It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

If you're looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it's love!

In Italy, you know you've found a truly authentic restaurant when they don't have an English menu. In India, it's when there are no utensils and you must eat with your hands.

Dinner's a very intimate activity. It requires a level of connection and eye contact, that sex just doesn't. Call me old-fashioned, but I need to have sex with a girl at least three times before I'll even consider having dinner with her.

Walden: "Money does not buy happiness!"
Alan: "I wouldn't know, I never had either."

Alan: "You can't stay here alone."
Jake: "Why not?"
Alan: "You know why not."
Jake: "But you don't have a turtle to put in the microwave anymore."

Charlie: "Looks to be a beautiful day. Slightly overcast, but that should burn off in a few hours, leaving us with another sun-dappled afternoon in paradise."
Berta: "You still drunk from last night, or did you get a fresh buzz this morning?"

Judith: "I'm very concerned, he's just a child. I don't know if he can deal with this."
Charlie: "Give your son some credit, he's an incredible kid."
Judith: "I was talking about you!"

Kids, you can't cling to the past. Because no matter how tight you hold on... it's already gone.

Well, maybe this isn't a breakup. Maybe this is two friends getting back together.

Marshall: "It's kind of a big, professional meeting. You might want to trade out that lollipop for a shirt."
Ted: "Yeah. I'll just give it to one of these kids."
Marshall: "Oh, buddy. You're half naked, you're not a parent to any of these children. Don't offer 'em candy!"