The best Quotes by Katherine Ryan

The best Quotes by Katherine Ryan

Your laugh is the reason your parents never tickled you growing up.

The Big Fat Quiz Of The Year 2024

Jimmy has the work ethic of an immigrant and the personal wealth of the country that immigrant had to flee.

The Big Fat Quiz Of The Year 2024

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I'm gonna talk about racism now. And this is a straight white man talking, so pay attention!

Who's not gonna take the vaccine because they think it might be dangerous? Raise your hands! Now take that hand and slap yourself in the f*cking face!

Corona-Jokes Vaccines

What is suicide? It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's so sad.

Everyone is shaving their p*ssy. And hipsters these days have beards. So society has the same amount of hair, just on different c*nts.

Hipster Vaginas

Mainsplaining, it's when a man tries to explain what you already know in a patronizing manner. It's when a man - that's me - tries to put clever thoughts in your pretty little brain. You understand that? That's a meta joke.

If you're a homeless, alcoholic Scott and you had tourettes... how would they ever know?

I think a girl is too young for you if you have to make airplane noises to put your c-ck in her mouth.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year, we could save millions of mosquitos from dying needlessly of aids.

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

3

Falling in love

If she says, "We can't have sex, I'm on my period", I would say, "Well, your ass isn't bleeding, is it?"

Macho-Jokes Ass Dark Humor

A travel writer's made a world map showing where women are easiest to sleep with. That's awful. Although, good news for Blackpool's tourism.

Jimmy Carr - via Twitter

The new Thor movie is out today. I haven't been looking forward to Hammertime this much since 1989.

Jimmy Carr - October 2013

I enjoyed Halloween this year. I stuck two pumpkins down the back of my trousers and went as Kim Kardashian's arse.

Jimmy Carr - via Twitter

Kim Kardashian Halloween Ass

Things get out of hand so quickly. I once heard of a girl who lied to her husband about how she got pregnant, and now there's an entire religion.

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

There are two kinds of big companies in the United States. There are those who've been hacked by the Chinese, and those who don't know they've been hacked by the Chinese.

James Comey

I believe that Americans should be deeply skeptical of government power. You cannot trust people in power. The founders knew that. That's why they divided power among three branches, to set interest against interest.

James Comey

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