The best Quotes by Karl Lagerfeld

I am very down to earth. Just not on this one.

The tragic thing about rich people is that someone else is always richer.

Selfies are electronic masturbation.

I hate the word cheap. People are cheap. Clothes are either expensive or affordable.

Do I look like someone who cooks? I can open a can of Coke Light, that's it.

If I were a russian woman, I'd be lesbian. Russian men aren't very attractive.

I might have been born in Liverpool - but I grew up in Hamburg.

So you're single? In Paris? Now I'm even more jealous. I mean, your life is croissants and sex.

I make the most money, I think, in Russia and Paris, for the people of those countries are so willing to be amused, so eager to see something new and out of the ordinary.

If Paris is a city of lights, Sydney is the city of fireworks.

An artist has no home in Europe except in Paris.

Quagmire: "You got to help me. I'm looking for a little boy with red overalls and a yellow shirt."
French Man: "You are looking to buy or to rent?"
Quagmire: "What? No! God! How is Paris considered a classy city?"
French Man: "The buildings are beautiful, the people are trash."

Do you realize this city is laid out in circles? Like they deliberately designed it to confuse us.

Paris seems like a big city, but it's really just a small town.

Of course, I love Paris. And the food is so delicious. The fashion, so chic. The lights, so magical. But the people, so mean.

It's Paris. Everyone's serious about dinner.

You haven't done Paris right until you've had at least one wildly inappropriate affair.

The Jedi are trained to let go. They're trained from birth. They're not supposed to form attachments. They can love people – in fact, they should love everybody. They should love their enemies; they should love the Sith. But they can't form attachments. So what all these movies are about is: greed. Greed is a source of pain and suffering for everybody.

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

Wealth is a nightmare. With each coveted thing we buy, we lose a thing we dream about.

If your only goal is to become rich, you will never achieve it.

Twitter is stupid and Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read.

Han Lee: "Max, why did you kick out the hipsters?"
Max: "Cause I could not be in the background of another Instagram photo!"

A cow is a cow, no matter how many instagram filters you put on it.

The selfie is the new way to look someone right in the eye and say, "Hello, this is me."

I invented selfies to trick the country into surveilling themselves.

I think the selfie age is kind of making fame annoying.

You know, it has been 17 days since I've "enjoyed" you. And I assume it's been months since you've enjoyed me.

A perverse nature can be stimulated by anything. Any book can be used as a p-rnographic instrument, even a great work of literature if the mind that so uses it is off-balance. I once found a small boy masturbating in the presence of the Victorian steel-engraving in a family Bible.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Fashion fades, only style remains the same.

I'm like every other woman: a closet full of clothes, but nothing to wear: So I wear jeans.

Supermodels... heh! Nothing super about them. Spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves.

I don't need to know how they make Coca-Cola. I think it tastes just fine not knowing what the ingredients are. I think there are some things that should be kept secret.

When I was a boy, it never occurred to me that one day I might participate at the birthday of a German Chancellor. But that was before I knew that smoking four packs of cigarettes and consuming ten Coca-Colas a day guaranteed longevity.

Next I'm buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in.

Don't ever let a recipe tell you how much garlic to put in. You measure that with your heart.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I'm always cooking very slow so the eggs have enough time to process their separation.