Quotes and Sayings about Karaoke

I hate it when I loudly sing along to a song and the interpreter doesn't get the lyrics right.

I've got three cases of imported beer. Karaoke Maschine. And I didn't invite Michael. So three ingredients for a great party.

Han Lee: "Hipsters like karaoke!"
Max: "Replace the word 'like' with the word 'Hitler' and you got the three worst things in history."

The greatest musical instrument given to a human being is the voice.

Microphones are just like people, if you shout at them, they get scared.

As a singer, you have to bring the soul to the song.

I first started to sing when I started to talk. As soon as I could form words and sounds together, I was singing.

Gabrilla Montez: "Well, you sound like you've done a lot of singing, too."
Troy Bolton: "Yeah, my showerhead is very impressed with me."

I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.

Whatever else has been said about me personally is unimportant. When I sing, I believe. I'm honest.

Michael: "You will be thin. You won't drool over pizza like an animal anymore. You will find love."
Kevin: "Michael, I'm pretty much okay with who I am now."
Michael: "Don't be. You should never settle for who you are."

Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet. And this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

Yes, I can ride a bike. I take spinning classes three times a month. I think I know how to ride a bike. I had those extra wheels on the back that support you.

How do I feel about losing the sale? It's like if Michael Phelps came out of retirement, jumped in the pool, belly-flopped and drowned.

I'm not going to tell my nine-months-pregnant wife that I find her replacement objectively attractive. Just like I'm not going to tell my two-year-old daughter that violent video games are objectively more fun. It's true, but it doesn't help anybody.

Pam: "Jim and I have never and will never have sex in the office."
Jim: "No, because the office isn't what I'd consider a romantic place."
Pam: "Besides, we have something those other people don't have, which is a home and a bed."
Jim: "And a shower."

I am on the first hot sale streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding CeCe, because no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. Let's be honest - if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob... I can pretty much sell anything.

The bigger the lie, the more people believe in it.

If we win, we don't have to explain ourselves. If we lose, there's nothing to explain.

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Laden, and Toby - I would shoot Toby twice.

You need somebody who understands your references. Who is Kafkaesque? I've never...- I don't know him.

Twitter is stupid and Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read.

Max: "How old are you gonna be?"
Earl: "75"
Max: "Oh, Earl, if you were just three years younger..."

Do you think we can convince them that slapping each other's face is the new high five?

Han Lee: "Max, why did you kick out the hipsters?"
Max: "Cause I could not be in the background of another Instagram photo!"

Everyone is shaving their p*ssy. And hipsters these days have beards. So society has the same amount of hair, just on different c*nts.

Esposito: "So you're going full hipster now."
Ryan: "Have you started jarring artisanal pickles yet?"

What's the problem? Grunting is scientifically proven to add more power. Ask any female tennis player, or her husband.

Jim: "What about and energy drink?"
Pam: "It gets in the breast milk. If I drink it, CeCe drinks it six hours later."
Jim: "It doesn't mean I can't drink it."
Pam: "Well, it does and it doesn't."

Michael: "Phyllis did injure herself, but she injured herself having fun and I don't think she'd trade that memory for anything."
Stanley: "I would like the memory of a day uninterrupted by this nonsense."

I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?

Michael's like a movie on a plane. You know, it's not great, but it's something to watch.

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Michael: "Excuse me, everyone... Sex! Now that I have your attention...-"
Stanley: "You don't have our attention."
Michael: "Money!"
Stanley: "I'm listening."
Kevin: "You had me at 'Sex'."

Florida is America's bas*ment: it's wet, it's filled with mold, strange insects, alligators.

In five years, I'd like to be five years sober... four and a half.

Karen Filippelli: "You can't give paperclips to a baby. He could swallow."
Creed Bratton: "Oh, it's okay. I've got tons of 'em."