The best Quotes by Justin Halpern

The best Quotes by Justin Halpern

Justin Samuel Halpern (born September 3, 1980) is the American author of the Twitter feed "Shit My Dad Says" and the best-selling book Sh*t My Dad Says.

Los Angeles is like San Diego's older, uglier sister that has herpes.

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That's L.A. They worship everything and they value nothing.
Sebastian Wilder in La La Land
1
Welcome to a city where people trying to disappear aren't actually trying.
Joe Goldberg in You - Season 2 Episode 2
1
I lived in L.A. for a few months. It seemed like no one there had parents. Or if they did have parents, they would deny it.
1
Linda: "Why did you decide to come to Los Angeles?"
Lucifer: "The same reason as everyone else: the weather, p*rnstars, Mexican food."
Lucifer Morningstar in Lucifer - Season 1 Episode 3
1
People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.
Los Angeles was the kind of place where everybody was from somewhere else and nobody really droppped anchor.
Michael Connelly in The Lincoln Lawyer - The Brass Verdict
The L.A. weather is a lot like Taiwan's, where you don't observe four seasons, so the years can pass and you don't feel a thing.
You're lucky we're not in Los Angeles, because Angelinos can smell BS a mile away.
Melinda Monroe in Virgin River - Season 1 Episode 1
I'm from the Compton slums, and that's how the West ride
I'm from the city where two of the best died
The Game - The City, Album: The R.E.D. Album
I moved to Los Angeles for two reasons. One is to run away from a boy. Two is to chase a boy.
If I lived in L.A., I'd be schizophrenic after a week.
I'm rich, I'm miserable - I'm pretty average for this town.
Michael De Santa in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V
Riggs: "You want me to drive?"
Murtaugh: "No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'll drive."
Riggs: "Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal."
Martin Riggs in Lethal Weapon
Miss Carter, you have no idea how foreign Los Angeles will seem to a civilized person such as yourself. They eat avocados... with everything!
Edwin Jarvis in Agent Carter - Season 2 Episode 1
There's an old saying: 'Nobody comes from Los Angeles. Everybody comes to Los Angeles'. But if you do come from Los Angeles, then chances are you come from Pasadena.
The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt comes with less fruit.
I read the Life magazine articles about free love and free dope in California. At age 20 I drove to Los Angeles.
Do you know how hard it is to find a quality man in Los Angeles?
Natalie in Charlie's Angels
Los Angeles traffic is just the worst thing in the world. It throws off timing so much. However, it's always warm and sunny. New Jersey has absolutely terrible weather, but the environment is really homey and chill.
I think Los Angeles is impossible. There's just too much media focus. You can't live a normal life.
Of course, San Diego chooses not to regard the two cities as one. Talk about alter ego: Tijuana was created by the lust of San Diego. Everything that was illegal in San Diego was permitted in Tijuana.
It's good to have a lot of once-in-a-lifetimes in your lifetime. If you get the chance to skydive, go skydiving! If you're offered a part in a weird Shakespeare play in San Diego, slap on some tights and rock out some iambic pentameter.
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San Diego was fantastic. I think there's something about San Diego that is quite different than Los Angeles.
San Diego is the best city in the world.
Well, when I was a kid, I grew up in San Diego next to the ocean. The ocean was my friend - my best friend.
You can leave San Diego, but it will never leave you.
They say money can't buy happiness. But it can book your flight to San Diego - which is kinda the same.
Perfection is impossible. In the 1,526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches. But what percentage of points did I win? 54%! In other words, even top ranked tennis players win barely more than half the points they play. When you lose every second point on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot.
Roger Federer - Juni 2024
We've had a lot of away games in the Champions League this season where we've heard the fans. When I think of the game in Newcastle, where you can hear our fans the whole time, even though it was said beforehand that Newcastle is the loudest stadium in England – that's really saying something. We are looking forward to our fans, they will deliver again in Paris.
I felt like a child amongst all the established players. First of all I had to prove myself in training and earn respect and over several months show what I was capable of.
Florian Wirtz - July 2021
Recently, on my 18th birthday, my mother showed me a note from my time at primary school. We had to write down what we wanted to be. The only thing I'd written was: football player. I really did always want that and started early on to kick everything I came across: balloons, balls and anything else lying around the house. There was a lot flying about at our place.
Florian Wirtz - July 2021
Your mom's so fat, even in Minecraft she appears round.
One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.
Joe Biden - März 2024
What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?
The Wok.
I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.
When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

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