Quotes and Sayings about Judaism

Leonard: "You owe me another two dollars, the price of moo shu pork went up."
Howard: "It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew."

Is it 'cause I'm Jewish? 'Cause I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister.

Jewish holidays are all about food... and celebrating not getting annihilated by our enemies.

Jewish communities are warning their members to avoid specific places for their own safety - today, here in Germany, almost 80 years after the Holocaust.

For a while I thought I could un-Jew myself. Then I realized that being Jewish is not in the ritual or the action. It is in one's history. I am proud of being Jewish.

As a Jew I am aware of how important the existence of Israel is for the survival of us all. And because I am proud of being Jewish, I am worried by the growing anti-Semitism and anti-Zionism in the world.

Albert Nimzicki: "I'm not Jewish."
Julius Levinson: "Nobody's perfect."

Two american jewish men send their sons to Jerusalem to learn about their culture. A year later they are having a chat:

Man 1: "I am so disappointed in my son. Once he returned, he claimed to have become christian."
Man 2: "My son as well, this is a tragedy! We should go see our Rabbi, maybe he can guide us."
Rabbi: "Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat as you two. I sent my son to Jerusalem a few years ago and he also became christian. Only God can help us now, we should pray to him."
God: "You guys won't believe, but 2000 years ago I too sent my son to Jerusalem..."

God knew, that the Jews were going to go through some shit. So he made one in ten of us crazy to keep the others entertained.

Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do.

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Unlike religious people, I look at all religions equally.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.

It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

Every religion there's something foul going on.

It is easy to talk on religion, but difficult to practice it.

Imagine if you carried on believing in Santa and the tooth fairy into adulthood. And even killed and started wars over it. Imagine that.

There can be no poetry after Auschwitz.

Israel was created exactly 70 years ago as a haven for refugees from the Holocaust. But the mistreatment of those suffering from today's atrocities is simply not in line with my Jewish values.

Mahmoud Abbas accusing Israel of having committed "50 Holocausts" while standing on German soil is not only a moral disgrace, but a monstrous lie.

I am disgusted by the outrageous remarks made by Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas. For us Germans in particular, any relativization of the singularity of the Holocaust is intolerable and unacceptable.

The Holocaust was the most evil crime ever committed.

We must, without equivocation, denounce antisemitism.
We must, without equivocation, denounce Islamophobia.

To all of you hurting: You belong.

You're all America.

The greatest danger for all of us begins with forgetting. With no longer remembering what we inflict upon one another when we tolerate antisemitism and racism in our midst.

Anti-Semitism is a noxious weed that should be cut out. It has no place in America.

Love is not a sprint, it's a marathon. A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms - or hits you with the pepper spray.

Howard: "You were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator."
Rajesh: "I thought we were going to be gentle with him."
Howard: "That's why I added the 'tator'!"

Howard: "You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin."
Sheldon: "Why?"
Howard: "Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me."

That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.

Physics answers the question, "What is the nature of the universe?" Geology answers the question, "What'd I just trip over?"

Pigs are like big chubby dogs you can eat at christmas.

If somehow the Lord gave me a second chance at that moment... I would do it all over again.

Putin has started a war because he can't stand individual freedoms of the people. Because Ukraine has become a threat to his dictatorship with their longing for freedom. Dictators fear freedom. That's why he must not be successful with this war, because that would mean that dictators can attack freedom.

Our world has become more restless and rough; it is changing at a breathtaking pace. We also cope with headwinds. This does not make the challenges of our time any smaller.

Can anyone survive without faith, however its labeled? No matter how you live, it seems, you need faith to get by, to get ahead.

God expected too much of me. Now I need to find my own path.

Without John Williams, bikes don't really fly, nor do brooms in Quidditch matches, nor do men in red capes. There is no Force, dinosaurs do not walk the Earth, we do not wonder, we do not weep, we do not believe.

The security of Israel is a moral imperative for all free peoples.

Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist.

Christians who pray are like pillars that carry the world.

If Jerusalem falls into the hands of the Muslims, Athens and Rome will be next.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

Leonard: "For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to... hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?"
Sheldon: "You have a sarcasm sign?"

Leonard: "I can't believe you've never seen 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'."
Penny: "And I can't believe you've never read 'Eat, Pray, Love'."
Leonard: "When she comes out with 'Eat, Pray, Run away from a giant boulder', I'll read it."

This physicist goes into an ice cream parlor every week and orders an ice cream sundae for himself, and then offers one to the empty stool sitting next to him. This goes on for a while until the owner finally asks him what he's doing. The man says, "Well, I'm a physicist, and quantum mechanics teaches us, that it is possible for the matter above this stool to spontaneously turn into a beautiful woman who might accept my offer and fall in love with me." The owner then says, "Lots of single, beautiful women come in here ever day. Buy an ice cream for one of them, and they might fall in love with you." And the physicist says, "Yeah, but what are the odds of that happening?!"