The best Quotes and Sayings about Judaism

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Leonard: "You owe me another two dollars, the price of moo shu pork went up."
Howard: "It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew."

PigsHoward Wolowitz in The Big Bang Theory, Season 2 Episode 14

Is it 'cause I'm Jewish? 'Cause I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister.

Howard Wolowitz in The Big Bang Theory, Season 1 Episode 15

Jewish holidays are all about food... and celebrating not getting annihilated by our enemies.

The Last of Us - Part II, by Dina

Two american jewish men send their sons to Jerusalem to learn about their culture. A year later they are having a chat:

Man 1: "I am so disappointed in my son. Once he returned, he claimed to have become christian."
Man 2: "My son as well, this is a tragedy! We should go see our Rabbi, maybe he can guide us."
Rabbi: "Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat as you two. I sent my son to Jerusalem a few years ago and he also became christian. Only God can help us now, we should pray to him."
God: "You guys won't believe, but 2000 years ago I too sent my son to Jerusalem..."


God knew, that the Jews were going to go through some shit. So he made one in ten of us crazy to keep the others entertained.

Mel Brooks