The best Quotes by Juan Ruiz

How about a copy of the New York Times? It's like reading the internet, but on paper!

Sydney Burke: "There's a third lung behind the heart."
Juan: "Awesome. Too bad we had to kill the guy to see all these cool insides."

Tilda: "A chupacabra, a banshee, and a succubus meet in a park."
Juan: "What's the punchline?"
Tilda: "We are."

Juan: "We should call the police."
Abbi: "Calling the police is what normal people do. We're not normal people anymore."

Music is the blanket that keeps me warm. It's the flag I raise when I'm tearing down the barricade. It lifts me out of myself and changes my perspective of the world. It's how I know God exists.

Patient: "This isn't over, Dr. F*ckov!"
Sarkov: "Dr. F*ckov. Never heard that one before. Very original! Why don't you try Dr. Suckov?"

Juan: "I didn't do it on purpose."
Tilda: "Tell that to his neck."

Juan: "I'm not a child."
Sarkov: "No, you are a grown man who makes comic books for a living."
Juan: "Graphic novels."
Sarkov: "Okay."

Sarkov: "That's doctor-patient privilege."
Juan: "I thought you were a scientist."
Sarkov: "It's all the same. We all wear white coats and have trouble with eye contact."

Tilda: "One more."
PJ: "Don't you think you've had enough?"
Tilda: "I can still hear you. So no."

Tilda: "Chest, butt, one guy asked me to sign his d-ck."
Juan: "What did... I mean, what did you do?"
Tilda: "I tell you what I didn't do. Use my own pen."

My assistant's having a baby. Which is gross. She wanted me to deliver it, as I was like, "I'm not that kind of doctor." I wouldn't even know what I was looking at.

I taught Oxford for years. Then I turned 20 and moved to the States.

Look, I know it's bad, but it's not bourbon bad.

I love science because science is truly the final frontier.

Tilda's a banshee, Juan's a chupacabra, and I'm a succubus. If we work together, we can reverse the side effects.

Abbi: "Tonight we show them that guinea pigs bite back!"
Tilda: "F*ck yeah! You want monsters? We'll give you f*cking monsters!"

PJ: "Have you been forgetting your pills?"
Tilda: "The pills have forgotten me."

We're the reason people don't have to believe in monsters.

No monster left behind.

We all know, of course, what to make of our newspapers. The deaf man writes down what the blind man has told him, the village idiot edits it, and their colleagues in the other press houses copy it.

Come on Ted, it's 2012. What do you expect, to meet some cute travel agent when you're reading a newspaper at a bookstore? None of those things exist anymore!

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Social media has given us the world at our fingertips every morning. And we watch it change, live. In the morning, in the old days, we'd read the 'Post,' and that was what we had.

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.

Knowledge is a paradox. The more one understands, the more one realizes the vastness of his ignorance.