The best Quotes by Jonathan Stroud

The best Quotes by Jonathan Stroud

Jonathan Anthony Stroud (born 27 October 1970) is a British writer of fantasy fiction, best known for the Bartimaeus young adult sequence and Lockwood & Co. children's series.

"Well," Lockwood said, "if you judge success by the number of enemies you make, that was a highly successful evening."
Lockwood & Co. - 2: The Whispering Skull
Dave: "You're not our leader."
Lucy: "No, but I know what I'm doing, which is a nice alternative."
Lockwood & Co. - 4: The Creeping Shadow
Lockwood: "Never touch a mummified body part if you don't know where it's been. That's my motto."
George: "Holds true with unmummified ones too. That's the motto I live by."
Lockwood & Co. - 4: The Creeping Shadow
1
According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 3: Ptolemy's Gate
It was Nathaniel's boundless capacity for stating the obvious that made him so charmingly human.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 3: Ptolemy's Gate
"Really?"
"No. I'm being ironic. Or is it sarcastic? I can never remember."
"Irony's cleverer, so you're probably being sarcastic."
Lockwood & Co. - 1: The Screaming Staircase
It was a time of beginnings and a time of endings.
Lockwood & Co. - 5: The Empty Grave
1
Stop worrying about the past. The past is for ghosts. We've all done things that we regret. It's what's ahead of us that counts.
Lockwood & Co. - 1: The Screaming Staircase
1
"I warn you," the boy went on. "I am a magician of great power. I control many terrifying entities. This being you see before you" - here I rolled my shoulders back and puffed my chest up menacingly - "is but the meanest and least impressive of my slaves." (Here I slumped my shoulders and stuck my stomach out.)
Bartimaeus Sequence - 2: The Golem's Eye
Making tea is a ritual that stops the world from falling in on you.
Lockwood & Co. - 4: The Creeping Shadow
1
I wasn't pretty, but as my mother once said, prettiness wasn't my profession.
Lockwood & Co. - 1: The Screaming Staircase
He was transfixed at the sight of the lords and ladies of his realm running about like demented chickens.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 1: The Amulet of Samarkand
In my eyes, refusing cake is an immoral act.
Lockwood & Co. - 4: The Creeping Shadow
1
One magician demanded I show him an image of the love of his life. I rustled up a mirror.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 1: The Amulet of Samarkand
I don't know how old the man was... but he was definitely closer to coffin than crib.
Lockwood & Co. - 3: The Hollow Boy
Despite his crimped shirts and flowing mane (or perhaps because of them) I had seen no evidence as yet that Nathaniel even knew what a girl was. If he'd ever met one, chances are they'd both have run screaming in opposite directions.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 2: The Golem's Eye
Ambition is all very well, my lad, but you must cloak it.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 1: The Amulet of Samarkand
A dozen more questions occurred to me. Not to mention twenty-two possible solutions to each one, sixteen resulting hypotheses and counter-theorems, eight abstract speculations, a quadrilateral equation, two axioms, and a limerick. That's raw intelligence for you.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 3: Ptolemy's Gate
By now, in his mid to late teens, he might just about have passed for a man. When seen from behind. At a distance. On a very dark night.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 3: Ptolemy's Gate
And then, as if written by the hand of a bad novelist, an incredible thing happened.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 1: The Amulet of Samarkand
To my astonishment I saw him standing at a table with Kitty Jones. It was the Kitty Jones bit that was astonishing. Not the table. Though it was very nicely polished.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 3: Ptolemy's Gate
"Is it just me," Kipps said, "or does that boy need punching?"
"It's not just you."
Lockwood & Co. - 4: The Creeping Shadow
"Have you a name?"
"A name?" I cried. "I have MANY names! I am Bartimaeus! I am Sakhr al-Jinni! I am N'gorso the Mighty and the Serpent of Silver Plumes!"
I paused dramatically. The young man looked blank. "Nope never heard of you. Now if you'll just-"
Bartimaeus Sequence - 2: The Golem's Eye
"Looks?" the skull said. "Who cares about that? It's superficial. Outward appearance doesn't interest me at all. Why do you think I hang around with you?" It chuckled. "Insult aside, that's just one way in which I'm superior to every one of you, except for Cubbins."
Lockwood & Co. - 5: The Empty Grave
"It wasn't the body," he said. "I've seen worse things in our fridge."
Lockwood & Co. - 2: The Whispering Skull
Hey, we've all got problems, chum. I'm overly talkative. You look like a field of buttercups in a suit.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 2: The Golem's Eye
Minor magicians take pains to fit this traditional wizardly bill. By contrast, the really powerful magicians take pleasure in looking like accountants.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 1: The Amulet of Samarkand
"Much has happened since last we met, Bartimaeus," he went on. "Do you remember how we parted?"
"No." I did.
"You set light to me, old friend. Struck a match and left me burning in a copse."
The crow shifted uneasily beneath the cleaver."That's a gesture of endearment in some cultures. Some hug, some kiss, some set each other on fire in small patches of woodland."
Bartimaeus Sequence - 3: Ptolemy's Gate
"Plan F, we follow Plan F, right now."
"Is that the one where we run away?"
"Not at all. It's the one where we beat a dignified emergency retreat."
Lockwood & Co. - 2: The Whispering Skull
Jabor finally appeared at the top of the stairs, sparks of flame radiating from his body and igniting the fabric of the house around him. He caught sight of the boy, reached out his hand and stepped forward.
And banged his head nicely on the low-slung attic door.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 1: The Amulet of Samarkand
Burned and squashed to death in a silver vat of soup. There must be worse ways to go. But not many.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 3: Ptolemy's Gate
Nothing could keep me from you. Nothing in life or Death...
Lockwood & Co. - 3: The Hollow Boy
1
It was one of those moments when a great Don't Care wave hits you, and you float off on it, head back, looking at the sky.
Lockwood & Co. - 1: The Screaming Staircase
At Lockwood & Co., George was famous for not being able to throw or catch with any accuracy. Back in the kitchen at Portland Row, even the casual passing out of fruit or bags of chips became an exercise fraught with danger.
Lockwood & Co. - 4: The Creeping Shadow
1
It was higher and shriller than Holly's, so we knew that it was Kipps.
Lockwood & Co. - 5: The Empty Grave
1
I had a chance at him now. Things were a bit more even. He knew my name, I knew his. He had six years' experience, I had five thousand and ten. That was the kind of odds that you could do something with.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 1: The Amulet of Samarkand
This was classic Lockwood. Friendly, considerate, empathetic. My personal impulse would have been to slap the girl soundly around the face and boot her moaning backside out into the night. Which is why he's the leader, and I'm not. Also why I have no female friends.
Lockwood & Co. - 2: The Whispering Skull
1
What, are you queuing now? Just how British are you people? Don't just stand in line! Kill somebody!
Lockwood & Co. - 4: The Creeping Shadow
Well, when you're being held at gunpoint by a geriatric madman in a metal skirt, you've kind of hit rock bottom anyway. It can't really get much worse.
Lockwood & Co. - 1: The Screaming Staircase
Let's have the baddish one first,' George said. 'I prefer my misery to come at me in stages, so I can acclimatize on the way.
Lockwood & Co. - 5: The Empty Grave
Watch where you leave your victims! I stubbed my toe on that.
Bartimaeus Sequence - 1: The Amulet of Samarkand
"I wanted to wake you straightaway, but I knew I had to wait several hours to ensure you were safely recovered."
"What! How long has it been?"
"Five minutes. I got bored."
Bartimaeus Sequence - 2: The Golem's Eye
A warm feeling filled me. It was made of tea and biscuits and sudden gratitude.
Lockwood & Co. - 4: The Creeping Shadow
George had his faraway look, the one that made him look like a constipated owl.
Lockwood & Co. - 3: The Hollow Boy
1
Who says I'm dying? Did you see the amount of sheer effort it took me to escape the land of the dead? I'm not going back in now!
Lockwood & Co. - 5: The Empty Grave
Ignoring the whispers of the skull, which kept suggesting different, unlikely kitchen utensils that could be used for murder, I sketched out a map of the room.
Lockwood & Co. - 3: The Hollow Boy
1
Ah, two firm friends, reunited at last! There should be sweet violin music playing for us, but I'll settle for the screams of the dying.
Lockwood & Co. - 4: The Creeping Shadow
Death is fugitive; even when you're watching for it, the actual instant somehow slips between your fingers. You don't get that sudden drop of the head you see in movies. Instead you simply sit there, waiting for something to happen, and all at once you realize you've missed it.
Lockwood & Co. - 2: The Whispering Skull
If she'd repeatedly fallen over while crossing soft ground, you could have sewn a crop of beans in the chin-holes she left behind.
Lockwood & Co. - 2: The Whispering Skull
It's a commonly known fact that while cats can't stand ghosts, spiders love them.
Lockwood & Co. - 1: The Screaming Staircase

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More ghosts have been created in bedrooms than anywhere else.
Lockwood & Co. - 4: The Creeping Shadow
She was so radiant, it was like the other-light was already on her.
Lockwood & Co. - 1: The Screaming Staircase

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