Hi sweetie, I'm gonna inseminate you artificially... maybe for real if you play your cards right.
Jackass - to a cow
I think I'm a little concussed.
Jackass - The Movie
There's no such thing as a "pretty good" gator wrestler!
So, we've driven an hour north from Miami to Boca Raton, believe it or not, to film Steve-O jump into nine days worth of elephant poo.
Did you see the way I stopped the beanbag with my stomach? That's instinct. You can't teach that!
Now I know what it feels like to be my liver!
Jackass - getting doused with wine
Scott Potasnik: "You guys are gonna hate me an hour from now."
Johnny Knoxville: "We hate you already."
Johnny Knoxville: "We hate you already."
That had bad news written all over it!
Jackass - The Movie
You were about five feet short of a ten-foot jump.
You're the crappiest human bowling ball I ever saw in my whole life!
I feel like my eyes have gonorrhea.
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!
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Concussions aren't great, but as long as you have them before you're 50, it's cool. And Knoxville's 49, so we're good.
Jackass - Forever
You don't matter... in fact, in about 20 seconds you're not even gonna be matter.
They say Poland is the Mexico of Europe. I'm not sure of what that means, but I like it.
Bam Margera: "Oh, dude! My f*cking tailbone is seriously broken! I'm not even kidding!"
Ryan Dunn: "He broke his tailbone! That's alright, we don't have tails anymore, what's the point of having one?"
Ryan Dunn: "He broke his tailbone! That's alright, we don't have tails anymore, what's the point of having one?"
Oh dude, you look like an egg with legs!
Bam Margera in Jackass - about his dad with a Elvis suit on
I'm sick of the whole pooping thing... I'm gonna go get my butt cheeks pierced together.
Since we no longer have to bleep cuss words, I promise I will get my mom to say, "f-" by the end of this movie.
That guy right there is the best damn roller skater ever. Maybe even in the whole town.
Bam Margera: "Now these rocket skates are going to be a little different than the last."
Johnny Knoxville: "You using different bottle rockets?"
Bam Margera: "Nope. Just more of 'em."
Johnny Knoxville: "You using different bottle rockets?"
Bam Margera: "Nope. Just more of 'em."
Bam Margera in Jackass - The Movie
Whose d do I gotta suck to get some explosions around here?
Johnny Knoxville: "Is this the worst you've ever had to go boom-boom?"
Dave England: "No man. I shit my pants at the fair."
Dave England: "No man. I shit my pants at the fair."
Dave England in Jackass - The Movie
Hi, I'm Bunny the Lifeguard, any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle them down, and probably have my way with them.
Chris Pontius in Jackass - The Movie
I'm Raab Himself and I'm a complete f*cking idiot!
Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.
Jackass - Forever
I'm retiring as a football player from the University of Tennessee who played for the Colts and the Broncos and was very lucky to have played for all of them.
Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.
They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Tennessee - and that's pretty much the same thing.
Jackass
Tennessee
Steve-O
Tony Hawk
