Quotes by Johnny Carson

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whisky, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.