Quotes by John Oliver (Page 2)

Here you can find the best Quotes by John Oliver from Last Week Tonight.

Quotes by John Oliver

Generally, Balls are to the human body what 'Starz' is to a cable package: It comes with it, we understand that, but it's not nice to look at and nobody really knows what to do with it.

John Oliver (Last Week Tonight), Guardianship
 
Comment 

Germany... where the national motto is, "let's stick to the present, shall we?"

GermanyJohn Oliver (Last Week Tonight)
 
Comment 

America is the country that gave you Star Wars, you're welcome. And scientology, we're sorry about that. Sometimes what's great and terrible about us is just impossible to seperate.

USAJohn Oliver (Last Week Tonight), Trump vs. The World
 
Comment 

His approach is 'America first!' Foreign affairs is like sex. If you loudly announce that you will always come first, you're going to have trouble finding partners.

Donald TrumpJohn Oliver (Last Week Tonight), Trump vs. The World
 
Comment 

Australia... not just the country where Russell Crowe lives, but very much the Russell Crowe of countries.

AustraliaJohn Oliver (Last Week Tonight)
 
Comment 

Greece... the country that spent money like a rapper whose accountant is Nicolas Cage.

GriechenlandJohn Oliver (Last Week Tonight)
 
Comment 

Greenland is icy, distant and semi-autonomous. It's exactly Trump's type.

Donald Trump, GreenlandJohn Oliver (Last Week Tonight)
 
Comment 

Prison sentences are a lot like penises. If they're used correctly, even a short one can do the trick... is a rumor I have heard.

Penisses, PrisonsJohn Oliver (Last Week Tonight), Mandatory Minimums
 
Comment 

The only problem is, Budweiser is one of FIFA's key sponsors. And they sell a product they reflexivly insist on calling 'beer'.

Beer, FIFA (Association)John Oliver (Last Week Tonight), World Cup Excitement
 
Comment 

Mexico... or as you may know it: Spicy Canada.

MexicoJohn Oliver (Last Week Tonight)
 
Comment 
Quotes 51 to 60 of 6012