The best Quotes by John Cleese

The best Quotes by John Cleese

John Marwood Cleese (born 27 October 1939) is an English actor, comedian, screenwriter, and producer.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

Capitalism Business

I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.

The Americans all love 'The Holy Grail', and the English all love 'Life Of Brian', and I'm afraid on this one, I side with the English.

Monty Python’s Life of Brian Monty Python and the Holy Grail

I don't miss London much. I find it crowded, vast and difficult to get around. Cabs are incredibly expensive.

A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.

1

Laughing & Smile

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.

He who laughs most, learns best.

1

Laughing & Smile Learning

The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.

1

I think you can write very good comedy without a partner, but what I love about it, working with a partner, is that you get to places you'd never get on your own. It's like when God was designing the world and decided we couldn't have children without a partner; it was a way of mixing up the genes so you'd get a more interesting product.

I'm always meeting new people, and my list of friends seems to change quite a bit.

Quotes about John Cleese

They all welcomed me with open arms and immediately put my fears to rest. John Cleese was rather flirty; Michael Palin seemed rather shy; Terry Jones was very jolly; Eric Idle was a tiny bit aloof; Graham Chapman was very polite and Terry Gilliam was very loud and a bit manic.

Carol Cleveland

Eric Idle Michael Palin Terry Jones Terry Gilliam Graham Chapman

As the first series progressed I found it was John Cleese who I got on best with and who made me laugh the most. He was the one who would change the most during the course of Python.

Carol Cleveland

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'What could possibly go wrong?'
'We could become a fox popsicle.'

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I can, and I will. That dream is about to take off!

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I loved every minute of Python and owe so much to them.

Carol Cleveland - June 2014

We're all in our 70s now and even doing 10 shows, with lots of costume changes, is going to be exhausting. And the guys have far more to do than me, obviously. But I have a feeling it might not be the last Python project ever. I wouldn't be surprised if they did another film.

Carol Cleveland - June 2014

Then there was Michael Palin. Michael is the one who hasn't changed at all. I thought he was - and still is - the cutest of the bunch.

Carol Cleveland

You know, you come from nothing, you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!

Monty Python’s Life of Brian

12

Brian: "You're all individuals!"
People: "Yes, we're all individuals!"
Brian: "You're all different!"
People: "Yes, we are all different!"
Man: "I'm not."

Monty Python’s Life of Brian

10

Centurion: "Crucifixion lasts hours, it's a slow, horrible death."
Matthias: "Well, at least it gets you out in the open air."

Matthias in Monty Python’s Life of Brian

5

Frenchman: "You empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
Sir Galahad: "Is there someone else up there we can talk to?"
Frenchman: "No! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"Who's that then?"
"I dunno. Must be a king."
"Why?"
"He hasn't got shit all over him."

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Sleep is the best meditation.

Sleeping Meditation

When you practice gratefulness, there is a sense of respect toward others.

1

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.

My son Jack once said to me, "Dad, do you think people are laughing with you or at you?"
I said, "I don't care as long as they're laughing."

Ozzy Osbourne

Laughing & Smile

For the soul, laughing is what oxygen is for the lungs.

Louis de Funès

2

Laughing & Smile

No day of my life passes without someone saying the words "Monty Python" to me. It's not bad.

1

The human race should just slow down and think about what it is doing.

Michael Palin

What really alarms me about President Bush's "War on Terrorism" is the grammar. How do you wage war on an abstract noun? How is "Terrorism" going to surrender? It's well known, in philological circles, that it's very hard for abstract nouns to surrender.

Terry Jones

I've given up asking questions. l merely float on a tsunami of acceptance of anything life throws at me... and marvel stupidly.

Terry Gilliam

There are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.

Graham Chapman

1

Reason & Sanity Craziness & Weirdness

What do you mean, "he don't eat no meat"? That's okay. I'll make lamb.

Aunt Voula in My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Meat without wine is also a sin.

Larys Strong in House Of The Dragon - Season 1 Episode 6

You know what capitalism is? Gettin' f*cked!

Tony Montana in Scarface

3

Great companies are built on great products.

3

As much money and life as you could want! The two things most human beings would choose above all - the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them.

Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

20

Greed Humanity Money

It is strange with how little notice, good, bad, or indifferent, a man may live and die in London.

Charles Dickens

1

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

Albert Einstein

11

Learning Education

Creativity is limitless - for better or worse.

Hwei, the Visionary in League of Legends

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

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Meat