Quotes by John Cleese

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.

The Americans all love 'The Holy Grail', and the English all love 'Life Of Brian', and I'm afraid on this one, I side with the English.

I don't miss London much. I find it crowded, vast and difficult to get around. Cabs are incredibly expensive.

A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.

He who laughs most, learns best.

The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.

I think you can write very good comedy without a partner, but what I love about it, working with a partner, is that you get to places you'd never get on your own. It's like when God was designing the world and decided we couldn't have children without a partner; it was a way of mixing up the genes so you'd get a more interesting product.

I'm always meeting new people, and my list of friends seems to change quite a bit.