The best Quotes by Joey Tribbiani

Nice try. You see, the Netherlands is this make-believe place where Peter Pan and Tinkerbell come from.

Moo Point. It's like a cow's opinion, it just doesn't matter.

Joey: "I had the same dream."
Phoebe: "Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl."
Joey: "Oh, I had the opposite dream."

Joey: "Monica, relax. Go get a beer."
Monica: "I don't want a beer."
Joey: "Who said it was for you?"

Ross: "Look, will you guys grow up? This is the most natural, beautiful thing in the world."
Joey: "Yeah, we know, but there's a baby sucking on it."

Ross: "Rach, did you proofread these?"
Rachel: "Why?"
Ross: "Nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your 'compuper' skills."
Rachel: "Oh, my God! Do you think it's on all of them?"
Joey: "No, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few."

Joey: "You broke the code."
Ross: "What code?"
Joey: "You don't kiss your friend's mom. Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-Iooking aunt, but not a mom. Never a mom!"

Women can see breasts anytime they want. You just look down, and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.

One woman? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something. There's lots of flavors out there. Rocky road, and cookie dough, and bing cherry vanilla. You can get them with jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream. Welcome back to the world, grab a spoon!

To play Joey, I have to turn half of my brain off. The problem is at the end of the day, I sometimes forget to switch it back on.

Love lasts forever, you know? Nothing like it in this lifetime. Money in the bank.

Joey: "Pheebs, wanna help?"
Phoebe: "I wish I could, but I don't want to."

Ross: "I could ask her to live with me. I mean, why not?"
Chandler: "Because you've only known her for six weeks. I've got a carton of milk in my refrigerator I've had a longer relationship with."

Joey: "You're smoking again?"
Chandler: "Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm smoking still."

Phoebe: "I was the last to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in."
Joey: "What?"
Phoebe: "Oh, looks like I was second to last."

Monica: "Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding."
Ross: "A 'no sex'-pact, huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America."

Alice Knight: "We were just at the drugstore, so we got you a little present."
Frank Buffay: "It's a lollipop and a home pregnancy test."
Monica: "Don't mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop."

Joey: "It's never taken me more than a week to get over a relationship."
Monica: "It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship."

Joey: "Some girl ate Monica."
Monica: "Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds!"
Chandler: "So how many cameras are actually on you?"

Phoebe: "It's not mine, I didn't earn it. If i kept it, it would be like stealing."
Rachel: "Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping."

Ross: "My new beeper."
Joey: "Why does a paleontologist need a beeper?"
Monica: "Is it for dinosaur emergencies? Help! They're still extinct!"

Joey: "My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral."
Chandler: "Joey... Switzerland?"

Rachel: "I will see you and I'll raise you. Do you wanna waste another buck?"
Ross: "No, not this time. What did you have?"
Rachel: "I'm not telling."
Ross: "Come on, show them."
Rachel: "Get your hands out of there!"
Chandler: "I've had dates like this."

Phoebe: "Now we need the s-men of a righteous man."
Rachel: "If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place."

Monica: "This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex."
Chandler: "Sounds like a date to me."

Rules are good. Rules help control the fun.

Joey: "I'm having new headshows taken tomorrow,right? And the photographer said that she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?"
Phoebe: "Well, it depends."
Joey: "On?"
Phoebe: "On how far along he is in the sex change process."

As an actor, the biggest compliment you can get, in my book is for someone to believe that you're the character.

People will speak slowly to me sometimes. And they always ask me if I'm all right, because I'm much more low-key and reserved than my character in 'Friends'.

I'm much more low-key than the characters I've played.

I am not afraid if people think Matt LeBlanc in 'Episodes' is who I am - my friends and family know who I am.

I don't like silk underwear. They don't do the job, you know?

Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away - and going away means forgetting.

Now, think of the happiest things. It's the same as having wings!

If I were you I'd give up!
If you were me I'd be ugly!

A jealous female can be tricked into everything.

We need to stop the Islamisation of the Netherlands.

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Dressing a baby is like putting an octopus into a string bag, making sure none of the arms hang out.

Women have to be able to remain silent. A woman without silence is like a car without breaks.

You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles

Ross: "She's got to go back to London. But, you know what? I've been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together and then that's it."
Joey: "That's what all my relationships are like."
Chandler: "Yes, but in Ross' case, they both know in two weeks that's it."

Chandler: "Oh my God, those are my bedroom eyes? Why did you ever sleep with me?"
Monica: "Do you really want to pull at that thread?"

Joey: "Can you close that window, Chandler? My nipples could cut glass over here."
Phoebe: "Wait, really? 'Cause mine get me out of tickets."

I'm sick of the lousy tips. I'm sick of being called 'Excuse Me'.