The best Quotes by Jo Brand

I think self-esteem is fluid. It's not a fixed state, and so some days are better than others.

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.

Being different isn't a bad thing. It means you're brave enough to be yourself.

Don't let anyone, ever, make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.

Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you got to protect it. People can't do something themselves, they want to tell you you can't do it. You want something, go get it. Period. All right?

What other people think of you is none of your business.

Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!

I am thankful to all those who said NO to me. It's because of them I did it myself.

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside, while still alive. Never surrender!

If you can dream it, you can do it!

It's better to be hated for the person you are, than to be loved for the person you're not.

You've got enemies? Good. That means you actually stood up for something.

You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

Believe you can, then you will.

The things that make me different are the things that make me.

Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren't. Everybody has their own strengths and weknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are - and aren't - that you will truly succeed.

Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

Once you have accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.

The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.

Small is the number of them that see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.

Strength lies in knowing oneself.

Legos are like chocolate... there's always room for some more.

When I see chocolate, I hear to voices in my head:

One says: "Eat it!"
The other one says: "Can't you listen? You're supposed to eat it!"

All you really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

I can't recall the food pyramid right now... how many servings of chocolate should I be eating today again?

As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is a fruit for me.

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.

Let's face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me.

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

I've always got a sweet tooth. I have chocolate hidden in places that nobody knows about.

Chocolate is not cheating! After a salty meal, you need a little bit of sweet. This is living, not cheating.

Once we hit forty, women only have about four taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate.

Everywhere in the world there are tensions - economic, political, religious. So we need chocolate.

Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

Will looked horrified. "What kind of monster could possibly hate chocolate?"

The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and by Shakespeare. Neither knew chocolate. The Swiss are known for nonviolence. They are also known for superb chocolate.

Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate.

I can’t walk by chocolate without eating it.

After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.

One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?
The Wok.

I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

I tried phone sex - it gave me an ear infection.

During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else.

I like to read biographies of authors that I love, like Richard Yates. I also like to see what non-fiction authors are out there. My bible is Something Happened. It's one of the greatest books I've ever read. But if I don't read a Dostoevsky soon I'm going to kill myself.

For 45 years I've worked without an audience.

I love being famous. It validates that I have something to say.