The best Quotes by Jimmy O. Yang

Words of affirmation!? I was raised by Asian parents. I've never heard one word of affirmation in my life. Their love language is verbal abuse.

Cheap generals are like cheap enchiladas. You end up paying for it on the back end.

I'm going to reabsorb your budget like the world's most useful tampon.

General Naird: "It was a very successful mission ordered by POTUS himself which proved assault rifles will work in the vacuum of space."
Dr. Mallory: "Which was never in doubt."

His words: "Boots on the moon in 2024." Actually he said "Boobs on the moon", but we believe that to be a typo.

Gender roles… offensive and out of date. Like you.

Are you going to sit there like an idiot doing nothing or are you going to shoot for the stars?

Hong Kong has created one of the most successful societies on Earth.

Hong Kong is so vertical you have to do up-down panorama shots in order to really capture it.

The US must stand with Hong Kong, and remain a determined force for its autonomy.

Hong Kong has created one of the most successful societies on Earth.

All we ask for is just to urge Beijing and Hong Kong governments to withdraw the bill, stop police brutality and respond to our calls for a free election.

They say money can't buy happiness. But it can book your flight to Hong Kong - which is kinda the same.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Hong Kong - and that's practically the same thing.

Don't stereotype Asian people. Also, there's a good chance they're doctors, so they can help you out if you are worried.

I think I am against stereotype. Generally, Asian guys are more quiet – they study and have a good work ethic. Generally, I have none of those things.

Kim Jong-un is very isolated in his own country. He's the only obese person in North Korea.

One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".

To never be sick can't be healthy.

F*ck reason - long live the nonsense!

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.

Life is so damn short. For f's sake, just do what makes you happy!

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.

Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

This is the end of Wladimir Putin.

Dubai accomplished that boom through lots of hard work... by slaves.

People say that money changes people. It really doesn't. Money don't change people. Money allows you to be more of who you really are. If you're a kind person when you get a lot of money, you become a kinder person. If you're an a-shole when you get a lot of money, you become a big a-shole. When you see rich people acting like a-sholes it's 'cause they've always been one.

Harvey: "You gonna sit up here on national TV and say 'nekkid', and then point at the damn board like we gonna let you get away with it!"
Contestant: "I bet you said 'nekkid' in one of your comedy routines."
Harvey: "You on Family Feud! This ain't a comedy routine!"

Life is too short to worry about what others say about you. Have fun and give them something to talk about.

The only time you should look back in life is to see how far you have come.

Spotify, the app with the entire history of recorded music that you only use to listen to four songs that you liked in high school.

You don't need to show up like a SWAT Team to rescue a Barbie from a little girl. If anything, you should be rescuing the little girl from the Barbie. Should be getting there like, "little girl, watch out! That Barbie can give you a warped sense of what a woman's body is supposed to be!"

Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.

The language you are about to hear… is disturbing.

The last person that was excited about a check with Donald Trump's name on it was Stormy Daniels.

We are looking at the biggest economic crash since 1970.
And thanks to closed barber-shops, we'll soon look like the 70s again.

Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.