Quotes from Jimmy Kimmel Live!

The best Series Quotes

I wish we had somebody in a leadership position in the White House who would bring people together.

Death of George FloydShaquille O'Neal in Jimmy Kimmel Live!, June 3rd 2020
 
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What ever I would do, I would be the one I am today. I chose football and I'm sorry for the other fans that are cheering for other sports, because it would be the same thing.

Football/SoccerZlatan Ibrahimović in Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Sendung vom 17.04.2018
 
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People told me, 'When you come to Los Angeles, don't worry, you can walk on the streets' But since day one, it's busy everywhere. But it's my own fault. 'Cause when you play the way I do, I mean...

Zlatan Ibrahimović in Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Sendung vom 17.04.2018
 
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I wanted to give Los Angeles a gift. I was thinking a long time. And then one day it came like: I should give myself.

Football/SoccerZlatan Ibrahimović in Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Sendung vom 17.04.2018
 
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When someone with a beard attacks us, we tap phones, we invoke travel-bans, we build walls we take care of every possible precaution to make sure it doesn't happen again. But when an American buys a gun and kills other Americans, then there's nothing we can do about that? Second ammendment, I guess. Our forfathers wanted us to have AK-47s is the argument, I assume.

Gun-ControlJimmy Kimmel in Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Sendung vom 03.10.2017
 
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'Is Kumail Nanjiani's dick multiple colors?'
Yes. Every shade of your mom's lipstick. And her butthole.

Kumail Nanjiani in Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Celebrities Read Mean Tweets #11
 
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Apple is believed to be partnering with American Express on a new mobile payment system, that would replace carrying credit cards around. That way, you can lose your naked pictures and all your money in one easy step.

AppleJimmy Kimmel in Jimmy Kimmel Live!
 
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They have a new high-end iPhone called the iPhone 5S. The 'S' stands for 'shut up and give us your money'.

AppleJimmy Kimmel in Jimmy Kimmel Live!
 
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This is about as close as America gets to having a royal baby; Apple unveiling a new iPhone.

AppleJimmy Kimmel in Jimmy Kimmel Live!
 
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I feel like at this point, Apple's releasing products, just to see if there's anything we won't buy.

AppleJimmy Kimmel in Jimmy Kimmel Live!
 
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Characters from Jimmy Kimmel Live!