The best Quotes by Jim Parsons

Coffee is to wake up, coffee is to work with, coffee is to live with, coffee is life.

Well, I'm a big believer in "never say never".

Someone else's success is not your failure.

I think in any form of acting, you're always well served if you've done theater.

Leonard: "For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to... hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?"
Sheldon: "You have a sarcasm sign?"

Leonard: "I've dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle..."
Sheldon: "Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. The word 'plenty' has been redefined to mean 'two.'"

Oh, gravity, thou art a heartless b*tch!

Leonard: "The key to acquiring proficiency in any task is repetition."
Sheldon: "...with certain obvious exceptions. Suicide for example!"

Quantum physics makes me so happy. It's like looking at the universe naked.

'See you in hell Sheldon'? The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma!

Sheldon: "I'm quite aware of the way humans usually reproduce, which is messy, unsanitary, and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity."
Penny: "Oh God!"
Sheldon: "Yes, exactly."

You're asking me to use my superior intellect in a tawdry competition. Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?

We dont need Wolowitz! Engineering is merely the slower younger brother of physics. Watch and learn! Do either of you know how to open the toolbox?

Sheldon: "You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of having sexual congress with this woman?"
Leonard: "Men do things for women without expecting sex."
Sheldon: "Those would be men who just had sex."

Howard: "Don't you think I should answer the engineering questions? I am an engineer."
Sheldon: "By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal."

She is cheating. No one can be that attractive and this skilled at a video game.

That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.

Physics answers the question, "What is the nature of the universe?" Geology answers the question, "What'd I just trip over?"

Marty: "Thanks for going to outer space, so no matter what I do, my mum will be disappointed in me."
Howard: "Well, I married a little catholic girl, so we're even."

Sheldon: "Why do people cry at weddings?"
Mary: "They're practicing for what's coming later."

This seat is ideally located both in relation to the heat source in the winter and a cross breeze in the summer. It also faces the television at a direct angle allowing me to immerse myself in entertainment or game play without being subjected to conversation. As a result, I've placed it in a state of eternal dibs.

Leonard: "I can't believe you've never seen 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'."
Penny: "And I can't believe you've never read 'Eat, Pray, Love'."
Leonard: "When she comes out with 'Eat, Pray, Run away from a giant boulder', I'll read it."

Gosh, Amy, I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because, like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Rajesh: "I don't know if I want to play anymore."
Sheldon: "Because you don't have a girlfriend? Well, good Lord, if that becomes a reason not to play Dungeons & Dragons, this game's in serious trouble."

Sheldon: "At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?"
Leonard: "At the hands of your roommate?"
Sheldon: "An accident."
Leonard: "That's how I'm going to make it look."

Raj: "Hey, look, I found an iPod!"
Howard: "Smashed beyond repair - what are you going to do with it?"
Raj: "What else? Sell it on ebay as 'slightly used'."

Leonard: "I don't think I can go out with her tonight."
Sheldon: "Then don't."
Leonard: "Other people would say, 'Why not?'"
Sheldon: "Other people might be interested."

Penny: "Leonard isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with."
Sheldon: "Leonard isn't the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with."

If there's not enough coffee for everyone, there's coffee for no one.

Never's the word God listens for when he needs a laugh.

Success is all about having the confidence to shoot for something even if it seems impossible.

A theatre is the most important sort of house in the world, because that's where people are shown what they could be if they wanted, and what they'd like to be if they dared to and what they really are.

For the soul, laughing is what oxygen is for the lungs.

It's not about the absence of fear. It's overcoming it.

If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.

My philosophy is: It's none of my business what people say of me and think of me.

My father always said, "Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their book shelf" - so I make sure I read.

We think too much and feel too little.

If one does not attach himself to people and desires, never shall his heart be broken. But then, does he ever truly live?

One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real.

I'm much more proud of being a father than being an actor.

I dream of a day where I walk down the street and hear people talk about Morality, Sustainibility and Philoshophy instead of the Kardashians.

It's easy to fool the eye but it's hard to fool the heart.

I never thought I'd see in my life a black candidate running for President.

One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.