Quotes by Jim Jefferies

Christians are like a thirteen year old kid who still believes in Santa.

If you hate gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person.

Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

The thing about crazy people; they don't know they are crazy, that's what makes them crazy.

You're never going to be truly successful if everyone likes you.

One of the flaws in the American dream is that there isn't as much of a safety net as you may get in other countries.

Comedy comes out of everyone's worst day. No one writes a sitcom episode about everyone having a good day. It's always about someone being locked out of their house or someone being dumped or whatever.

For me, Mr. T and Donald Trump are the same sort of phenomenon - they're guys with catchphrases and wacky hair.