The best Quotes by Jessi Klein

The best Quotes by Jessi Klein

Jessi Ruth Klein (born August 18, 1975) is an American writer, actress and stand-up comedian from New York City.

Women have problem areas in a way that men don't. We have big hips and muffin tops. Men just have the thing where they create wars and wreak havoc all over the globe.

Everyone wants to say they hate lawyers, and yet I've never met a parent who didn't want their kid to be a lawyer.

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No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 1 Episode 11

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Sex New York City

There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders.

Grüner Kobold in Spider-Man

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Fame New York City

If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you
New York, New York

Frank Sinatra - New York, New York

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Manhattan, for millions of our forefathers, the gateway to hope, opportunity and happiness beyond their wildest dreams. Today, that hope is still alive, it's called "The First Date". On Saturday nights, every restaurant in Lower Manhattan resembles its own little Ellis Island.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 3

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New York City Manhatten

I want to wake up in that city
That doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hill
Top of the heap

Frank Sinatra - New York, New York

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In a city that moves so fast, you get the Sunday paper on Saturday - how did any of us know how much time we had left?

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 5

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We are New Yorkers. Proud citizens of the greatest city on earth. Thinking big isn't new to us. It is the very foundation of who we are.

Bill de Blasio

Regardless of our differences, this was still New York. A melting pot crammed onto an island, then pushed into a subway car with a rat eating pizza. You're not left or right. You're a New f*cking Yorker and we're in this together.

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show - Debates Anti-Vax Mandate Protesters in NYC

Do you know how bad that coffee has to be to to be considered a health risk in New York? This is the same city where pizza gets delivered by a rat!

Ronny Chieng in The Daily Show

I don't wanna f*ck it up because one of us didn't prepare for the slim possibility of New York City traffic!

Michael Lawson in Uncoupled - Season 1 Episode 1

I remember Hell's Kitchen when you couldn't walk west of Ninth Avenue without getting knifed. Now it's Chelsea with better gays.

Stanley James in Uncoupled - Season 1 Episode 1

Most people come to New York to be discovered. The rest of us come here to hide.

Colleen Hoover in Verity

It's fascinating to see how versatile New York City is. It lends itself to being so many different places!

Margot Robbie

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.

Crime New York City

I love New York; I love the city. It's impossible. It's a theme park of a city.

Kit Harington

Being a single girl in New York... it's what you should be doing in your twenties!

Emilia Clarke

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

David Letterman

No place epitomizes the American experience and the American spirit more than New York City.

Michael Bloomberg

In New York City, a lot of people think 'the great outdoors' is the area between your front door and a taxi cab.

Michael Bloomberg

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning.

R. L. Stine

New York is my favorite city in the world.

Liam Gallagher

I find it hard to relax. I live in New York.

James Gandolfini

L.A., it's nice, but I think of sunshine and people on rollerblades eating sushi. New York, I think of nighttime, I think of Times Square and Broadway and nightlife and the city that never sleeps.

Jimmy Fallon

New York City Los Angeles

New York in spring and autumn is absolutely beautiful, but the winter is absolutely depressing.

Joel Robuchon

Everyone goes on about how Bombay is so similar to New York, so I had see what the big deal was. The bustling crowds are the same, but it's a lot quieter, it's a lot cleaner, and it's not humid. I think the energy is very similar to Bombay.

New York City Mumbai

When I was a kid, this was always my dream: to live in New York.

There were a couple of things I needed to do while I was in New York. One was to have a pizza pie, one was to get a tattoo and get a Yankees hat.

New York City New York Yankees

You can't live in New York City and be the most important person in town; you just can't. There are too many other important people here.

Sarah Jessica Parker

I came to New York and in only hours, New York did what it does to people: awakened the possibilities. Hope breaks out.

Philip Roth

New York, the nation's thyroid gland.

Christopher Morley

You should never trust a woman who just had her heart broken. We tend to lie.

Bree Van De Kamp in Desperate Housewives - Season 1 Episode 12

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When a woman quits on a man, she either got enough of him or she didn't get enough from him.

Marcel Aymé

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Women Relationships

A jealous female can be tricked into everything.

Hook in Peter Pan

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The most beautiful clothes that can dress a woman are the arms of the man she loves. But for those who haven't had the fortune of finding this happiness, I am there.

Yves Saint Laurent

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A woman can be gorgeous at 19, charmimg at 29, but only at 39 she is irresistible for the rest of her life. And no woman that has been irresistible, ever turns older than 39.

Coco Chanel

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Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free, until they find someone just as wild to run with.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 18

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Women Relationships

When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity.

Albert Einstein

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Lisa: "What was your booth for again?"
Tom: "It was free legal advice. I'm a lawyer."
Lisa: "So you are a creep."

Lisa in I Believe in Santa

Those who understand the rules can delineate boundaries, and identify gray areas.

Alhaitham in Genshin Impact

Lawyers are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.

Danny DeVito

Lawyer Nuclear Weapons

We're lawyers. Managing risk is what we do.

Ingrid Yun in Partner Track - Season 1

Attorneys are human. They're different from judges and prosecutors. We all add the legal field, but while judges and prosecutors work to safeguard the law, attorneys work to shield the people.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo - Season 1

Phillip Banks: "Going to college isn't just about finding a job. It's about finding yourself, and finding what you do best that makes a contribution to the community. It shouldn't be just about money."
Will: "You really believe that, Uncle Phil?"
Phillip Banks: "Yes, son, I really do."
Will: "Then how do you explain becoming a lawyer?"

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400. He's a law student, so he probably doesn't need it.

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

There are two kinds of big companies in the United States. There are those who've been hacked by the Chinese, and those who don't know they've been hacked by the Chinese.

James Comey

I believe that Americans should be deeply skeptical of government power. You cannot trust people in power. The founders knew that. That's why they divided power among three branches, to set interest against interest.

James Comey

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