What if this is like math? Or algebra? You know, you add a plus douchebag to a minus douchebag, then you get, like, zero douchebags.Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 4 Episode 8
Jesse: "Tell this a-shole if he wants to learn how to make my product, he's got to do it my way, the right way."
Mexican Cook: "I speak English."
Jesse: "So you understand what a-shole means. Now, go get me my phenylacetic acid, a-shole."
What's the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities?Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 3 Episode 9
Walter: "First order of business is to find a new place to cook. Before anyone says it, no more RVs."
Jesse: "I don’t know, the Crystal Ship did pretty good for us."
Walter: "The Crystal Ship?"
Jesse: "Yeah, that's what I called it."
Yeah b-tch, Magnets!Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 5 Episode 1
Can you walk? Then get the f-ck outta here and never come back.Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 4 Episode 9
Last I asked for your help, you said, "I hope you end up buried in a barrel in the Mexican desert."Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 4 Episode 11
I’m a blowfish! BLOWFISH! Yeeeah blowfishing this up!Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 2 Episode 7
This my own private domicile, and I will not be harassed… b-tch!Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 3 Episode 6
If this is supposed to be all, like, Major League and all, we should have equipment maintainer guys. And water boys, you know? "Yo! Gatorade me, b-tch!"Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 3 Episode 10
Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah science!Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 1 Episode 7
I pay my rent, b-tch! I got civil rights!Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad
Saul: "What the hell is this? It's like James Whale's traveling roadshow in here."
Jesse: "Whoever the hell that is. But the Crystal Ship definitely travels."
Some straight like you, giant stick up his a-s all a sudden at age, what, 60, he's just gonna break bad?Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 1 Episode 1
So you’re chasing around a fly and in your world I’m the idiot?Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 3 Episode 10
You know what is okay to put in hot dogs? Huh? Pig lips and a-sholes! But I say, hey, have at it b-tches 'cause I love hot dogs.Meat, PigsJesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 3 Episode 10
You’re the one that looks like you just crawled out of a microwave.Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 1 Episode 6
Walt: "So why you selling it in such small quantities? Why don’t you just sell the whole pound at once?"
Jesse: "To who? What do I look like? Scarface?"
Walt: "This is unacceptable. I am breaking the law here. This return is too little for the risk. I thought you’d be ready for another pound today."
Jesse: "You may know a lot about chemistry man but you don’t know jack about slangin' dope."
Like I came to you, begging to cook meth. Oh, hey, nerdiest old dude I know, you wanna come cook crystal? Please. I’d ask my diaper-wearing granny, but her wheelchair wouldn’t fit in the RV.Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad, Season 1 Episode 2