Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Jerome Allen Seinfeld is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. He is known for playing himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David.

Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

FloridaJerry Seinfeld
 
Comment 

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Children & ChildhoodJerry Seinfeld
2
Comment 

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?

DogsJerry Seinfeld
 
Comment 

There is no such thing as fun for the WHOLE family.

FamilyJerry Seinfeld
 
Comment 

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Character, Decisions, StreetJerry Seinfeld
1
Comment 

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Funny QuotesJerry Seinfeld
1
Comment 

Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

MarriageJerry Seinfeld
 
Comment 

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

BirthdayJerry Seinfeld
2
Comment 

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of physical evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Books, ReadingJerry Seinfeld
3
Comment