Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen Seinfeld is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. He is known for playing himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David.
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.Florida0
A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.Children & Childhood0
Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?Dogs0
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.Character, Decisions, Street0
Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.Marriage0
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'Birthday0