The best Quotes by Jeffrey Dahmer

I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction.

It's hard for me to believe that a human being could have done what I've done, but I know that I did it.

If I was killed in prison. That would be a blessing right now.

I don't even know if I have the capacity for normal emotions or not because I haven't cried for a long time. You just stifle them for so long that maybe you lose them.

If a person doesn't think there is a God to be accountable to, then - then what's the point of trying to modify your behaviour to keep it within acceptable ranges?

The killing was a means to an end. That was the least satisfactory part. I didn't enjoy doing that. That's why I tried to create living zombies with uric acid in the drill, but it never worked. I just wanted to have the person under my complete control, not having to consider their wishes, being able to keep them there as long as I wanted.

I had these obsessive desires and thoughts wanting to control them, to - I don't know how to put it - possess them permanently.

To this day I don't know what started it. The person to blame is sitting right across from you. It's the only person. Not parents, not society, not p-rnography. I mean, those are just excuses.

It's a process, it doesn't happen overnight, when you depersonalize another person and view them as just an object. An object for pleasure and not a living breathing human being. It seems to make it easier to do things you shouldn't do.

Yes, I always had that sense it was wrong. I don't think anybody can kill somebody and think that it's right.

I could completely control a person - a person that I found physically attractive, and keep them with me as long as possible, even if it meant just keeping a part of them.

Your honor, it is over now. This has never been a case of trying to get free. I didn't ever want freedom. Frankly, I wanted death for myself. This was a case to tell the world that I did what I did not for reasons of hate, I hated no one. I know I was sick or evil, or both. Now I believe I was sick. The doctors have told me about my sickness and now I have some peace.

Looking back on my life, I know I have made others suffer as much as I have suffered.

When I was a little kid, I was just like anybody else.

Morty: "I don't deserve this. I was just having fun."
Rick: "So was Jeffrey Dahmer."

Marshall: "Except the flames of Lucifer keep singein our back bumper as we drive through this hellish, cheese-infected wasteland."
Lily: "Wisconsin?"
Marshall: "Wisconsin!"

Another way of enjoying Minnesota is to move to Wisconsin.

Wisconsin girls - the kind of girl you can take home to meet your mom, but can outdrink your dad.

There's a thing in Wisconsin called "deer widows", when all the men leave town to go on hunting trips and the women stay at home, to do whatever it is women do without men.

I was always a Favre fan. I was born in Wisconsin, and my whole family was Packers fans, so I grew up watching him.

Wisconsin's a special place.

I've only been to one winery in Wisconsin, and it had a paintball course.

Washington, D.C. is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Wisconsin - and that's pretty much the same thing.

You're both young, you're both unsure about your place in the universe, and you both want to be Grandpa's favorite. I can fix this. Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen - I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of sh-! Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways.

Weddings are basically funerals with cake.

Rick: "If it's all the same, could we still get our stories straight? Because you're a terrible liar."
Jerry: "You called me a master convincer!"
Rick: "You believed me?"

A dad makes a toilet look like R2-D2 and it breaks the front page of Reddit. But I'm Charles Manson because I gave you your own world instead of an iPad.

To live is to risk it all. Otherwise you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you.

Listen, Morty. I hate to break it to you, but what people call 'Love' is just a chemical reaction that compells animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades.

So you're mining stuff to craft with and crafting stuff to mine with? Did your dad write this game?

If I wanted the government in my house, I'd buy Alexa.

Kid, I'm a writer that wrote something successful, so if you want me to give it up, you're gonna need a black belt or a big pair of t*ts.

Welcome to life. It's a big boat with a lot of holes, but we're all in it together.

Jerry: "I wanted to ask if it's okay with you if I make myself throw up the cookie."
Beth: "If it makes you feel better and you can do it quietly, yes, but don't hand that advice down to summer."

"Family time ist time well spent." Okay, that's not only empty, it's been disproven.

Jerry: "That was some fantastic chow mein. And before you say that sounded racist, you're gonna ask the waiter how they say it."
Beth: "It's Panda Express, Honey, the waiter's from Portland."

Morty: "Mom, I have a friend coming over. Is that cool?"
Beth: "I told your sister no parties."
Morty: "It's one friend."
Beth: "That's a party to you."

Summer: "I think it's in our best interest to work as a team."
Morty: "Yeah, most people would call that 'family'."

Morty: "Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house, did you mean, like, an exact replica?"
Rick: "I know about the Yosemite T-Shirt, Morty."
Morty: "Shit."
Rick: "You know you can use tissues, right?"
Morty: "I can't finish without it!"

Oh my god, it's disgusting... actually, it tastes really good... oh my god, it's disgusting that it tastes good.

No voting, no debate. It's not a democracy - it's a Rickpublic!

If a guy tells you how many girls he's hooked up with, it's not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three, then you get the real total. OK, so if Kevin is saying it's been three girls it's more like one or none. The rule of three. It's an exact science. Consistent as gravity.

Time without purpose is a prison.

Richard, you have desecrated the sacred treaty betwixt land and sea. Now face the wrath of your once and eternal foe - Mr. Nimbus!

One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.