The best Quotes by Jay Leno

The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets.

Washington, D.C.Washington Wizards

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.

With high-definition TV, everything looks bigger and wider. Kind of like going to your 25th high school reunion.

Show business is like champagne. You'll appreciate it more if you don't drink it every day.

Fame Champagne

Marriage is grand. Divorce is about 20 grand.

Divorce

How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

Aliens

You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.

Humor & Comedy

Scientists think they can now clone an all-white zebra. Now, I'm no expert, but isn't that a horse?

Zebras

It was so cold, Taylor Swift built a snowman - then dumped him and wrote a song about it.

Taylor Swift Snowman

Elon was smart, when he started, he knew this idea would work so he built charging stations. He was building the infrastructure as he was building the vehicle.

Tesla

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"

McDonald's French Fries

Dairy Queen is selling something called the Cheesecake Blizzard. It's a pound of ice cream with chunks of cheesecake in it. We have now reached the point where cheesecake is merely an ingredient.

Pies & Cakes Ice Cream

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'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream

Taylor Swift - Blank space

If you are lucky enough to be different, don't ever change!

Taylor Swift

Character

I think I've seen this film before
And I didn't like the ending
You're not my homeland anymore
So what am I defendin' now?
You were my town
Now I'm in exile seein' you out
I think I've seen this film before

Taylor Swift - Exile, Album: folklore

At some point, you grow out of being attracted to that flame that burns you over and over and over again.

Taylor Swift

Breakup Falling in love Fire

A whole life blown away in the blink of an eye. Nothing left but all the time in the world to think about it.

Ellis Boyd "Red" Redding in The Shawshank Redemption

Crime

No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 1 Episode 11

Sex New York City

Lisa: "What was your booth for again?"
Tom: "It was free legal advice. I'm a lawyer."
Lisa: "So you are a creep."

Lisa in I Believe in Santa

Lawyer

Come on. Let’s see how much we’re going for on eBay.

Hamm in Toy Story

eBay

The heart can be tough to change, but the mind can be tough to persuade.

Grand Pabbie in Frozen -

Heart Mind vs. Heart Head

One of the weird things about Hollywood is we're all imposters; we're all just glammed up.

James McAvoy

Hollywood

As a native Washingtonian, I am well aware that childhood obesity is a real problem in our nation's capital.

Dan Snyder

Washington, D.C.

But fame is a strange thing. Some men gain glory after they die, while others fade. What is admired in one generation is abhorred in another.

Madeline Miller in The Song of Achilles

Fame

I only drink Champagne on two occasions: when I'm in love and when I'm not.

Coco Chanel

Champagne

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce a book.

Gloria Swanson

Divorce

There may be aliens in our Milky Way galaxy, and there are billions of other galaxies. The probability is almost certain that there is life somewhere in space.

Buzz Aldrin

Space Aliens

If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you'd like.

Sam in Garden State

Laughing & Smile Humor & Comedy

You're genetically designed to take down zebras, yet you're picking on a f*cking mongoose, mate. [..] The whole animal kingdom thinks you're a p*ssy!

Ozzy Man Reviews - Mongoose vs Lions

Lions Zebras

Fact: You're never too old to build a snowman or to start a snowball fight.

Snow Snowman

Great companies are built on great products.

Elon Musk

Business Tesla

In order to get cheap accommodation in Australia, we like foreign people to do manual labour for us. Helping feed the cows is very important, they are the future of McDonald's.

Ozzy Man Reviews - Royal Tour [FEAT. Prince Harry and Meghan]

Australia McDonald's

Potatoes become french fries, chips and vodka. I'm starting to think that other vegetables aren't really trying.

Vodka Potatoes French Fries

"I'll make eggs for breakfast. How do you want yours?"
"In a cheesecake!"

Pies & Cakes Eggs

You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles

Rajesh Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory - Season 5 Episode 1

Sex Ice Cream

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

Deadpool

The best Quotes by Jay Leno

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