The best Quotes by Jason Bateman

The best Quotes by Jason Bateman

Jason Kent Bateman (born January 14, 1969) is an American actor, director, and producer. He is known for his roles of Michael Bluth in the Fox/Netflix sitcom Arrested Development and Marty Byrde in the Netflix crime drama series Ozark (2017–2022). He has starred in the films Teen Wolf Too (1987), Necessary Roughness (1991), Dodgeball (2004), The Break-Up (2006), Juno (2007), Hancock (2008), Up in the Air, Extract (both 2009), The Switch (2010), The Change-Up (2011), Paul (2011), Horrible Bosses (2011) and its sequel (2014), Identity Thief (2013), This is Where I Leave You (2014), The Gift (2015), Office Christmas Party (2016), Zootopia (2016), and Game Night (2018).

A straight factor is important in any comedy, because you need something to tee it up and also to ground it.
If people are going to complain about stereotyping, it's as likely to be Italian-Americans as gay people.
I have a tendency to evolve into William Shatner, with my big fat face.
I just love doing sitcoms. I'd be in them till I was gray if they'd have me.
By definition, gay is smart. I see plenty of macho heterosexual idiots, but nine times out of 10 you can have a great conversation if you find a gay guy.

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It's not a crime to be an a-shole, but it's very counter-productive.
Ray Embrey in Hancock
9
Three guys in the car with no girls. Rave music. Hey, I'm not going to judge.
2
Hancock: "[watching a video of himself throwing Walter, the beached whale, back into the ocean, knocking over a sailboat] I don't even remember that."
Ray Embrey: "Yeah. Greenpeace does."
[pause]
Ray Embrey: "Walter does."
Ray Embrey in Hancock
1
If you don't give yourselves up quietly, I swear to Christ, your head is going up the driver's ass, his head is going up your ass, and you drew the short stick, cause your head is going up my ass!
2
I just saw the one place on a sheep that has no wool.
Stu Hopps in Zootopia
The family you have makes you rich. The friends you choose makes them family. And with these things you will never feel small.
1
Life's a little bit messy. We all make mistakes. No matter what type of animal you are, change starts with you!
Judy Hopps in Zootopia
1
Try to make the world a better place!
Judy Hopps in Zootopia
2
Life isn't some cartoon musical where you sing a little song and all your insipid dreams magically come true.
Chief Bogo in Zootopia
We may be evolved, but deep down we are still animals.
Stu: "You ever wonder how your mom and me got to be so darn happy?"
Judy: "Nope."
Stu: "Well, we gave up on our dreams and we settled."
A family is like a small business. And with a small business, at times, there comes a bit of transition.
Marty Byrde in Ozark - Season 1 Episode 2
Money. That's what seperates the haves from the have-nots. But what is money? It's everything if you don't have it, right?
Marty Byrde in Ozark - Season 1 Episode 1
Money is not peace of mind. Money is not happiness. Money is, at its essence, that measure of a man’s choices.
Marty Byrde in Ozark - Season 1 Episode 1
You sentimentalize property, you can kiss profits goodbye.
Marty Byrde in Ozark - Season 1 Episode 4
People deserve a second chance, just like businesses.
Marty Byrde in Ozark - Season 1 Episode 3
We are not husband and wife... anymore. We're just business partners. And our job is to raise those kids.
Marty Byrde in Ozark - Season 1 Episode 2
Sometimes people make decisions, shit happens, and we gotta act accordingly.
Marty Byrde in Ozark - Season 1 Episode 1
Lydia: "Are you okay? I guess you are, aren't you? For someone who would put their own name on a hit-list..."
Meredith: "I had to."
Lydia: "Why?"
Meredith: "Because I heard you-- I heard you scream in the tunnels at Oak Creek. That's why I knew it was the right time... to start over."
Lydia: "But with Peter?"
Meredith: "He's the Alpha. He's always been the Alpha. He'll make it right. It never was for us-- so many people die because of us. We're the monsters. Even Banshees. Even me."
Lydia: "I don't believe that. Not all monsters do monstrous things."
Meredith: "Like who?"
Lydia: "Like Scott"
Meredith: "Like you"
Meredith Walker in Teen Wolf - Season 4 Episode 10
1
Not all Monsters do monstrous things!
Lydia Martin in Teen Wolf - Season 4 Episode 10
2
See, that's the problem. You–you don't care about getting hurt. But you know how I'll feel? I'll be devastated. And if you die, I will literally go out of my freakin' mind. You see, death doesn't happen to you, Lydia. It happens to everyone around you, okay? To all the people left standing at your funeral, trying to figure out how they're gonna live the rest of their lives now without you in it?
7
What? Scott, come on. I'm 147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bone, okay? Sarcasm is my only defense.
5
Wyatt Langmore: "This job's my old man's idea. Something about 'calluses and character'."
Charlotte Byrde: "Yeah, well, you're blowing leaves, not hiding Anne Frank."
Charlotte Byrde in Ozark - Season 1 Episode 2
God wasn't protecting you. The kid had shitty aim.
Grace Young in Ozark - Season 1 Episode 7
Man cannot tame what God wishes to be wild.
Jacob Snell in Ozark - Season 1 Episode 5
Financial adviser's not my dream job, but I am taking a f*cking bite out of the apple.
Bruce Liddell in Ozark - Season 1 Episode 1
Success should always be just beyond your grasp.
I never watched Star Trek.
For the soul, laughing is what oxygen is for the lungs.
2
It's not about the absence of fear. It's overcoming it.
4
If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.
1
My philosophy is: It's none of my business what people say of me and think of me.
1
My father always said, "Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their book shelf" - so I make sure I read.
We think too much and feel too little.
14
If one does not attach himself to people and desires, never shall his heart be broken. But then, does he ever truly live?
One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real.
1

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