Quote from Rick and Morty (Season 6 Episode 7)

Kid, I'm a writer that wrote something successful, so if you want me to give it up, you're gonna need a black belt or a big pair of t*ts.

Jan in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 7

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If I wanted the government in my house, I'd buy Alexa.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 10

Amazon

Welcome to life. It's a big boat with a lot of holes, but we're all in it together.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 6

Jerry: "I wanted to ask if it's okay with you if I make myself throw up the cookie."
Beth: "If it makes you feel better and you can do it quietly, yes, but don't hand that advice down to summer."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 6

Summer Smith

"Family time ist time well spent." Okay, that's not only empty, it's been disproven.

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 5

Jerry: "That was some fantastic chow mein. And before you say that sounded racist, you're gonna ask the waiter how they say it."
Beth: "It's Panda Express, Honey, the waiter's from Portland."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 5

Portland

Life is a subscription and Thanksgiving is your family's yearly charge.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 3

Thanksgiving

8 % of anything is expendable: 8 % of pizza is crust. 8 % of the Snyder Cut was Batman dreaming.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 2

Batman Zack Snyder Pizza

Oh my god, it's disgusting... actually, it tastes really good... oh my god, it's disgusting that it tastes good.

Summer Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 2

Rick: "Just do a 'Die Hard'!"
Summer: "What does that mean?"
Rick: "Sneak around! Use air vents! You've never seen 'Die Hard'?"
Summer: "I'm 17. No, I've never seen f*cking 'Die Hard'."
Rick: "Well, neither did the guy in 'Die Hard'. So, you're nailing it."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 2

Die Hard

Rick: "Wait a minute! Is that Mountain Dew in my quantum-transport-solution?"
Morty: "I saw you were marking the level so I had to top it off."
Rick: "Top it off? Do you know how dangerously toxic this stuff is? And you added it to my portal fluid?"

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 9

Mountain Dew

You don't get to tell anyone what's sad. You're like a one-man Mount Sadmore. So I guess like a Lincoln Sadmorial.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 8

No voting, no debate. It's not a democracy - it's a Rickpublic!

Summer Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 6

You're both young, you're both unsure about your place in the universe, and you both want to be Grandpa's favorite. I can fix this. Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen - I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of sh-! Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 2 Episode 1

Weddings are basically funerals with cake.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 2 Episode 10

Weddings Pies & Cakes

Rick: "If it's all the same, could we still get our stories straight? Because you're a terrible liar."
Jerry: "You called me a master convincer!"
Rick: "You believed me?"

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 5

A dad makes a toilet look like R2-D2 and it breaks the front page of Reddit. But I'm Charles Manson because I gave you your own world instead of an iPad.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 9

Charles Manson

To live is to risk it all. Otherwise you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 2

Risk Wise Sayings

Listen, Morty. I hate to break it to you, but what people call 'Love' is just a chemical reaction that compells animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 6

Love

Morty: "Mom, I have a friend coming over. Is that cool?"
Beth: "I told your sister no parties."
Morty: "It's one friend."
Beth: "That's a party to you."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 4

Morty: "You were a teenager when dad got you pregnant!"
Beth: "I was 17. That's at least 26 in boy years."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 3

Teenagers

Jerry: "I wish that shotgun was my p-nis."
Beth: "If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 6

Ernest Hemingway

Beth: "Do you want homeless people to have homes?"
Jerry: "Yes."
Beth: "Are you gonna build them?"
Jerry: "No."
Beth: "Then what good was the 'yes'?"

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 6

Summer: "I think it's in our best interest to work as a team."
Morty: "Yeah, most people would call that 'family'."

Morty Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 4

Morty: "Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house, did you mean, like, an exact replica?"
Rick: "I know about the Yosemite T-Shirt, Morty."
Morty: "Shit."
Rick: "You know you can use tissues, right?"
Morty: "I can't finish without it!"

Morty Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 2

If I'm always looking back, I'm never looking ahead. We are who we are because of consequences. You can't live without consequences.

Morty Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 8

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. We're all going to die. Come watch TV?

Morty Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 8

Meaning

Jessica: "I miss you."
Morty: "You miss the old me. You miss someone that loved you so much, you never had to love him back."

Morty Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 6

You're like Hitler! But even Hitler cared about Germany or something.

Morty Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 1

Adolf Hitler

Camping is just being homeless... without the change.

Summer Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 9

Camping

Summer: "It is a hot photo. I think grief flushes her cheeks. Dad, you hardly put any sirup on."
Beth: "Honey, stop raising your father's colesterol so you can take a hot funeral selfie."
Summer: "I never get to do anything."

Summer Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 1

If a guy tells you how many girls he's hooked up with, it's not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three, then you get the real total. OK, so if Kevin is saying it's been three girls it's more like one or none. The rule of three. It's an exact science. Consistent as gravity.

Jessica in American Pie

Time without purpose is a prison.

Jessica in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 1

I had nothing but time. Endless time. At first, it was madness. Then enlightment. Then madness again. But perhaps it was a gift. I could see the life of time. And as I watched the life of time in all its fleeting, terrible light, I wondered, had I lived? Was I just the object in another's story? Was that all I ever was? Could I be more? I had nothing but time and still no answer. Time without purpose is a prison. I have glimpsed into the mind of eternity. Perhaps the mind of God. And found nothing but silence.

Jessica in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 1

Richard, you have desecrated the sacred treaty betwixt land and sea. Now face the wrath of your once and eternal foe - Mr. Nimbus!

Mr. Nimbus in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 1

Quote from Rick and Morty (Season 6 Episode 7)

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