The best Quotes by Jan Böhmermann

This is the end of Wladimir Putin.

February 2022

Vladimir Putin Russia-Ukraine War

Dubai accomplished that boom through lots of hard work... by slaves.

(ZDF Magazin Royale) - vom 12.02.2021

Slavery Dubai

Would be great if someone found a tax loophole to make Amazon pay taxes in Germany.

December 2020

Amazon

It'd be great if most opinions would take root in facts.

Fest & Flauschig

Opinions Conspiracy Theories Facts

Art's only really cool if no one cares - or no one gets it.

Fest & Flauschig - Forken im Nacken - 11.03.2018

Art

The employees at the Apple headquarters keep running into the stylish new glass walls. Windows problems at Apple.

(Neo Magazin Royale) - Sendung vom 01.03.2018

Apple

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The western Countries lie recklessly, like Goebbels: the more incredible the lie, the faster they will believe in it.

Vladimir Putin - September 2022

Russia-Ukraine War

I find it necessary to support the proposal of the Defence Ministry on partial mobilisation in the Russian Federation to defend our Motherland, and to ensure the safety of our people.

Vladimir Putin - September 2022

2022 Russia-Ukraine War

The special military operation is being conducted strictly in accordance to the plan and schedule. All objectives that were set are being resolved successfully.

Vladimir Putin - March 2022

Russia-Ukraine War

The purpose of this operation is to demilitarise and denazify Ukraine.

Vladimir Putin - February 2022

Russia-Ukraine War

No matter who tries to stand in our way or all the more so create threats for our country and our people, they must know that Russia will respond immediately.

Vladimir Putin - February 2022

Russia-Ukraine War

I made a decision to carry out a special military operation.

Vladimir Putin - February 2022

Russia-Ukraine War

Mr. President, Ukraine did not "start" this war. Russia launched an unprovoked and brutal invasion claiming hundreds of thousands of lives. The Road to Peace must be built on the Truth.

Mike Pence - February 2025

Russia-Ukraine War

Stop the war! Admit that this is a war against an entire nation and stop it!

Dmitry Glukhovsky - Juni 2022

Russia-Ukraine War

People learn to love their chains.

Daenerys Targaryen in Game of Thrones - Season 3 Episode 10

Freedom Slavery

In the end, what seperates a man from a slave? Money? Power? No, a man chooses, a slave obeys.

Andrew Ryan in BioShock

Power Slavery

I want to finish with dignity so in a good club. It doesn't mean that to go USA or Qatar or Dubai is not good but I don't see myself there.

Cristiano Ronaldo - November 2015

Dubai

They say money can't buy happiness. But it can book your flight to Dubai - which is kinda the same.

Dubai

There are two kinds of companies; those that work to try to charge more and those that work to charge less. One will be second.

Jeff Bezos (Amazon CEO)

Business Amazon

If I wanted the government in my house, I'd buy Alexa.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 10

Amazon

Men must be free to do what they believe. It is not our right to punish one for thinking what they do, no matter how much we disagree.

Assassin's Creed

Human Rights Freedom Opinions

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

Josh Billings

Foolishness Opinions

I mean, you could claim that anything's real if the only basis for believing in it is that nobody's proved it doesn't exist!

Hermione Granger in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Conspiracy Theories

All empty souls tend toward extreme opinions.

William Butler Yeats

Foolishness Opinions Racism Conspiracy Theories

Listen to the scientists! Listen to what the facts are!

Joe Biden - May 2020

Coronavirus Facts

Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.

E. B. White

Prejudice Facts

Philippe: "Tell me Driss, why do you think people are interested in art?"
Driss: "I don't know, it's a business?"
Philippe: "No. That's because it's the only thing one leaves behind."

Driss in Intouchables

Art

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed.

Albert Einstein in The World As I See It

Art Science

Gerald Broflovski: "Well that does it, I'm going to the police!"
Stan: "For what?"
Gerald Broflovski: "To find out where Apple is keeping my son."
Stan: "Dude, when the police want to know where somebody is, they ask Apple!"

Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 15 Episode 1

Apple

Jacob: "Are you Steve Jobs?"
Cal: "What?"
Jacob: "Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers?"
Cal: "No."
Jacob: "Oh, OK. In that case, you've got no right to wear New Balance sneakers, ever."

Jacob Palmer in Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Steve Jobs Apple

Kim Jong-un is very isolated in his own country. He's the only obese person in North Korea.

Olaf Schubert in heute-show - heute-show vom 08.09.2017

Kim Jong Un North Korea

One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".

Felix Lobrecht

Berlin Munich Oktoberfest

To never be sick can't be healthy.

Karl Valentin

Illness & Sickness

F*ck reason - long live the nonsense!

Karl Valentin

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Ricky Gervais

Atheism Santa Claus Hölle

Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.

Ricky Gervais

Cynicism

Life is so damn short. For f's sake, just do what makes you happy!

Bill Murray

Life

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.

Bill Murray

Taxes Ice Cream

Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.

Robin Williams

Shooting Stars

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Robin Williams

Women

The best Quotes by Jan Böhmermann

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