The best Quotes and Captions from Jackass

The best Series Quotes

Hi sweetie, I'm gonna inseminate you artificially... maybe for real if you play your cards right.

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass, to a cow
 
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I think I'm a little concussed.

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass, The Movie
 
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You don't matter... in fact, in about 20 seconds you're not even gonna be matter.

Bam Margera in Jackass
 
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There's no such thing as a "pretty good" gator wrestler!

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass
 
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They say Poland is the Mexico of Europe. I'm not sure of what that means, but I like it.

Mexico, PolenChris Pontius in Jackass
 
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Bam Margera: "Oh, dude! My fing tailbone is seriously broken! I'm not even kidding!"
Ryan Dunn: "He broke his tailbone! That's alright, we don't have tails anymore, what's the point of having one?"

Ryan Dunn in Jackass
 
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So, we've driven an hour north from Miami to Boca Raton, believe it or not, to film Steve-O jump into nine days worth of elephant poo.

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass
 
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Did you see the way I stopped the beanbag with my stomach? That's instinct. You can't teach that!

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass
 
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Now I know what it feels like to be my liver!

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass, getting doused with wine
 
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I'm seriously going to die right now.

Tony Hawk in Jackass
 
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Oh dude, you like an egg with legs!

Bam Margera in Jackass, about his dad with a Elvis suit on
 
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I'm sick of the whole pooping thing... I'm gonna go get my butt cheeks pierced together.

Steve-O in Jackass
 
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Since we no longer have to bleep cuss words, I promise I will get my mom to say, "f-" by the end of this movie.

Bam Margera in Jackass
 
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That guy right there is the best damn roller skater ever. Maybe even in the whole town.

Chris Pontius in Jackass
 
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Bam Margera: "Now these rocket skates are going to be a little different than the last."
Johnny Knoxville: "You using different bottle rockets?"
Bam Margera: "Nope. Just more of 'em."

Bam Margera in Jackass, The Movie
 
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Scott Potasnik: "You guys are gonna hate me an hour from now."
Johnny Knoxville: "We hate you already."

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass
 
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Hi, I'm Ryan Dunn, and I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me by a girl.

Ryan Dunn in Jackass, The Movie
 
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It's like when your parents said "I'm not mad at you, just disappointed." You know that hurt so much more.

Steve-O in Jackass
 
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That had bad news written all over it!

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass, The Movie
 
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You were about five feet short of a ten-foot jump.

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass
 
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I am so glad I turned this idea down!

Steve-O in Jackass, The Movie
 
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You're the crappiest human bowling ball I ever saw in my whole life!

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass
 
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I feel like my eyes have gonorrhea.

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass
 
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Hi, it's cold in Japan, so we're going to warm ourselves up with some fireworks.

Steve-O in Jackass
 
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Whose d do I gotta suck to get some explosions around here?

Bam Margera in Jackass
 
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Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass
 
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Steve-O: "We wanted to see if you would run."
Ryan Dunn: "I'm not running anywhere with a toy car shoved up my butt."

Ryan Dunn in Jackass, The Movie
 
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Johnny Knoxville: "Is this the worst you've ever had to go boom-boom?"
Dave England: "No man. I shit my pants at the fair."

Dave England in Jackass, The Movie
 
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Hi, I'm Bunny the Lifeguard, any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle them down, and probably have my way with them.

Chris Pontius in Jackass, The Movie
 
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I'm Raab Himself and I'm a complete fing idiot!

Chris Raab in Jackass
 
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Characters from Jackass