The best Quotes by Jack Black

I make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

It's a tough transition really for theater actors to adjust to television or film, and all of these years later, I still have a tendency to play it too big.

Theatre

I don't get hung up on weight.

My children are magical creatures and I love them to death.

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

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Amanda: "Sex makes everything more complicated. Even not having it, because the not having it makes it complicated."
Graham: "That's why it's better to have it... some say."

Graham in The Holiday

Sex

I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said 'Journeys end in lovers meeting.' What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said 'love is blind'. Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.

Iris Simpkins in The Holiday

Call me old fashioned but one doesn't have sex with women who are unconscious.

Graham in The Holiday

Graham: "Long distance relationships can work, you know."
Amanda: "Really? I can't make one work when I live in the same house with someone."

Amanda Woods in The Holiday

Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.

Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder

I don't read the script. The script reads me.

Kirk Lazarus in Tropic Thunder

Lazarus: "Took a whole lot of tryin, just to get up that hill, but now we up in the big leagues."
Alpa Chino: "That's the theme songs from The Jeffersons."
Lazarus: "Just 'cause it's a theme song doesn't mean it's not true."

Kirk Lazarus in Tropic Thunder

Martin Luther King

You lied about fighting in the Vietnam War. It's like punching the American flag in the face!

Cody in Tropic Thunder

Vietnam

I know who I am! I'm a dude playing the dude, disguised as another dude.

Kirk Lazarus in Tropic Thunder

You went full retard man, never go full retard!

Kirk Lazarus in Tropic Thunder

It's just corn syrup you guys! Blood flavored... corn syrup.

Tugg Speedman in Tropic Thunder

Franklin Finbar: "You are a terrible driver!"
Smolder Bravestone: "What are you talking about? I just passed my driver’s test last month... again."

Dr. Smolder Bravestone in Jumanji - The Next Level

This next adventure is even more challenging. This time, not all of you will leave the game alive. And remember, the future of Jumanji is in your hands.

Nigel in Jumanji - The Next Level

Are you crying? You don't cry, all right? You keep your chin up. Come on, keep your chin up. Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem you face it like a man.

Alan Parrish in Jumanji

Sarah: "Alan, you wrestled an alligator for me."
Alan: "It was a crocodile. Alligators don't have that little fringe on their hind leg."
Sarah: "My mistake."

Sarah Whittle in Jumanji

Judy Shepherd: "A law of the jungle has been broken - it will set back more than your token."
Sarah Whittle: "You tried to cheat?"
Peter Shepherd: "I tried to drop the dice so they would land on twelve."

Peter Shepherd in Jumanji

Jumanji. A game for those who seek to find a way to leave their world behind. You roll the dice to move your token. Doubles gets another turn. And the first player to reach the end wins.

Alan Parrish in Jumanji

I've seen things you've only seen in your nightmares. Things you can't even imagine; things you can't even see. There are things that haunt you in the night; then something screams, and you hope to god you will not meet the same fate. Afraid? You don't even know what afraid is.

Alan Parrish in Jumanji

I service society by rocking, okay? I'm out there on the front lines liberating people with my music.